What Do Women Want? - 8

With Mr. O gone (and me not being exactly sure if he left for good), I decided to give Mr. S a good old-fashioned chance to wow me. Sigh! It's hard for me to deal with pain. My emotional intelligence is quite low compared to my IQ...I'm sort of a user. While some might use drugs, alcohol (tried that...liked it too much had to quit) or food (tried that too, gained a shitload of weight..took me 3 years to lose it and I'm still not done yet o), I prefer to use people. The only side effect is that you might gain an enemy. I can deal with that!

I don't set out to hurt or use...it usually just happens. It's a bad thing and I'm dealing with it. It's easier for me to forget and not dwell on pain if there's someone else there to take my mind of it. It's part of my inability to deal with issues that are emotionally draining or confrontation. I quit when it starts to involve too much of my emotions at play. I'll rather choose selective amnesia and pretend whatever hurt me...never happened. So, Mr. S was my drug of choice.

Remember, that I said, he wasn't my type? He really wasn't. Not physically, spiritually, emotionally, or socially (although he tried intellectually...). Oya, let's be honest with each other. We all have skeletons in our closets. We all have someone we dated in secrecy. Like in the important to national security kinda secret. Why? I dunno...we humans are just strange. Okay...maybe, I'm a little vain. Lol! With all my many flaws, I also happen to be a critic. I always see the tiniest flaws where others may see nothing but perfection. And I'm vocal with my criticism. Therefore, I have friends that tease me saying they cannot wait to laugh at me when I bring home my bag of flaws (according to them, critics end up with what/who they critcize). And I also have this thing for making sure I have cute babies.

I don't make dating or choosing people that I have to cover with secrecy a thing. Infact, Mr. S was my first. I always do right by what I want because the not knowing the future really bothers me...so...just incase...I only accept what I want. Anybody that asked me, or got close to figuring out the truth...I lied. I wasn't exactly lying outrightly. It was more of a white lie...after all I was only carrying out a charade. And after the charade blew up in my face I decided to let Mr. S be my crutch until I learned to walk again without help. He made it easier for me. I let him lead and I just followed.

I don't believe in wasting any experience. And so I decided to work on every attribute that I hitherto possessed that Mr. O complained about. I had to work on my submission and laying down my ego. So, I practiced and worked on it with Mr. S. How many times have I said that women need to be careful the kind of men they submit to? Well, I don't think I've said it often enough. Ladies, the Bible doesn't say submit to all men. It says submit to your own man! That means the choice of who you submit to ultimately lies in your hands.

I know we say dating is a western culture. But it helps. You date before you decide if you want to be in a committed relationship/courtship which may/may not end up in marriage. While dating, ask questions. Keep your eyes open. You need to see this man with your head and not your heart. Wear high definition glasses and see him for who he truly is before you accept to go into a committed relationship with him.

We have some scary men out there nowadays. Patience is key. Be wise and be open to wise counsel. Trust me...you do not want to submit to the wrong man. So...before you make your decision to yield (submit)...be sure you completely know this man and can trust him to lead you right at all times. If he's accountable to God, that's a plus for you right there!

To be continued...