Posts

Waiting To Exhale

I don't get a lot of things about this generation. We're f'ked up. Nobody is thinking right. Every where it's money & sex, money & sex, you're seriously telling me there's not more to life than these two? I'd read what some men write and I would be stunned, completely flabbergasted and then I would read from some women and I'm embarrassed for them, I want to find 'em & beat some sense into their heads. Someone told me recently that the reason I've been so unlucky in love is because those 2 things don't matter to me like they should. She's wrong. I'm not changing that part of me.
When I was 8, I remember my father saying, “Even if he's a taxi driver and he loves you very much, I'd release you to him as long as you love him in return”. I didn't get it then because I was a princess and I wanted my Prince Charming. I didn't get where the 'taxi driver's bride” bit was coming from. What he said shaped m…

...It Doesn't Hit The Same Spot Twice!

Remember my love interest from When Love Strikes... What are the odds I would run into him again? It's been 4 years. He was the absolute best. He could do no wrong. Why did I leave him? I was emotionally immature and wasn't ready for the kind of love he was peddling. I just woke up one day and decided I had enough of one man putting me first, pandering to me, singing me to sleep, caring for me, etc. I decided I was better off with jerks. I deserve everything I got after him and then some.
He was good for my ego and he made me feel like a queen. I still think of him when I listen to John Legend's All of Me. I always wondered what would have happened if I wasn't bent on self-sabotaging. He fought for me but I wasn't willing to be won! Who would think I would love someone that much and still walk out of a relationship with him because I was bored?
You have no idea how glad I am that God gives second chances. It's one of the reasons I'm not a bitter woman. Mos…

Finding Adupeola (No more flaking...I promise)

I know I haven't written in a long while, my sincere apologies. I was busy finding myself. I was one of those people that always laughed at people who said stuff like that. What exactly does “finding yourself” mean? How did you lose yourself? Can you lose yourself? I don't think I've been myself in 10 years. We all watched Finding Nemo & Finding Dora. You agree with me that their getting lost was their fault right? Going by that theory, losing myself must have been my fault, right? It was. I let other people's opinion define me. I lived my life for them leaving nothing for myself. Selfless? Nah! I just wasn't confident enough in my own skin.
I didn't love me enough to fight for me. I adopted so many personas I forgot who I was. I forgot what I loved to eat. My favorite kind of music. My favorite pastimes. I forgot the things I used to enjoy. I forgot so much my brain literally locked stuff away. I never knew how much of myself was gone until I went for a pa…

Dear Future Husband

I know I've written something like this before...but I've been reading a lot of it online and decided to write my own.Dear Future Husband,I thought about you before drifting off to sleep last night. I can't wait for the moment you go from being abstract to becoming my reality. The first time I thought about you, I was 8. I had just watched Mulan and I wondered if like Mulan and Captain Li Shang, we'll be able to recognize each other even when I'm not actively looking out for you or I don't look like the picture in your head. I've always hoped that no matter what, we find our way home.Thanks to Disney, I grew up with my head in the clouds. Reality has been mind-jarring but I'm still an hopeless romantic. I believe in love wholeheartedly. The forever kind of love. Where we grow old and grey with our children, grand-children & great grand-children round about our table. I know love like this will definitely take some work and I'm ready to give a hu…

Sigh...Guess Who's Back?

I know I haven't written on here in a long while. Forgive my neglect. I just didn't have any new adventures to write about or topics I'm researching. I'll do better though. I promise.Sigh...Sunday was...sigh!  I don't usually say I hate Mondays but I got traumatised today so I might join others in chanting that. Sigh...! I just can't help sighing. I'm disappointed and instead of crying or laughing at myself, I've found myself sighing instead. If you follow me on other platforms, you would know I recently joined the children's unit of my church and I am loving it! I've always loved kids and I just know this is where God wants me. The kids are so pleasant and they don't put me on my guard like adults do. You should know that I already have favorites. I have 4. They make my heart flutter and my ovaries cry out. I've noticed that favorite #2 looks familiar. The boy is a tease. If I spank him, he'll run after me and spank me back. Sometim…

My New Crush

By now you should know how I like my men. Tall, dark, handsome, intelligent and ambitious. I'm not a fickle woman. I am open to change but some things about me will never change. I know what I want and I'm not open to settling. I want someone that will always tickle my fancy. I've been told often that I want more than is humanly possible to have and that it might be one of the reasons that I am still singleπŸ˜’πŸ˜’πŸ˜’. I disagree. There's nothing wrong with a girl holding on to faith that the man of her dreams will suddenly appear by her side. I don't know when that will happen but I know it will. I'm committed to the wait. In the meantime though, I'm open to having a crush here and there. A crush means a one-sided or unrequited love. I don't even mind if these 'objects' of my affections never find out how I feel (in fact, it would be best for my ego if they never found out). Remember the last guy, I got over him all by myself. He was never the wiser…

My New Crush

By now you should know how I like my men. Tall, dark, handsome, intelligent and ambitious. I'm not a fickle woman. I am open to change but some things about me will never change. I know what I want and I'm not open to settling. I want someone that will always tickle my fancy. I've been told often that I want more than is humanly possible to have and that it might be one of the reasons that I am still singleπŸ˜’πŸ˜’πŸ˜’. I disagree. There's nothing wrong with a girl holding on to faith that the man of her dreams will suddenly appear by her side. I don't know when that will happen but I know it will. I'm committed to the wait. In the meantime though, I'm open to having a crush here and there. A crush means a one-sided or unrequited love. I don't even mind if these 'objects' of my affections never find out how I feel (in fact, it would be best for my ego if they never found out). Remember the last guy, I got over him all by myself. He was never the wiser…

Discovering Adupeola...

Recently, I've been feeling the urge to re-invent myself. I feel like the last couple of years, I lost my identity in the sea of life's demands. Now, it's time to embark on the journey of finding what I had lost. I always thought I had everything figured out but I lost it at some point. I know the point at which I took that leap and now, I'm ready to climb back up. I promised myself that I would change a couple of things before I hit the big three-0! And now I've only got 5 years left. I need to get a move on it if I'm ever going to achieve my dreams.I have lived in my little box for far too long. It's about time I ventured into the deep and discovered myself. The first time I ever asked myself this question was when I was 7. I started reading then. Not just storybooks but adult level books. I read just about anything I could get my hands on at the time. I was so jealous of the lives the characters in the books were living. All the adventures they got to ha…

Hello There πŸ˜‰

I'm sorry I haven't written this month. I wanted to. Infact, as May was drawing to an end,  I was so excited about June that I assumed that for sure I would be using up a huge amount of your MBs. But, as always, man proposes and God disposes. I didn't know what was about to hit me. May ended on a bad note for me and try as much as I could, I spent the first week of June fighting back the storm. The second week wasn't all that better. By the time I reached the third week though, I was returning back to my old self. It's hard fighting battles and then trying to hide them from the people around you. My heart was numb or too shattered for it to feel...and my emotions were in turmoil (I might write about what happened sometime but this post is not for that!). The thing is, I crawled, walked, ran, fought, prayed and fasted through that storm and here I am...still standing. I want to say I did it by myself. I want to claim that I have so much inner strength that I talked …

The Fear of Growing Up

Scientists call it, "gerascophobia". 2 years ago, I shared a story about how I had to fill a form online. At the time, I had convinced myself I was 21. It was so convincing that I had actually been telling people that age. In the process of filling up the form, the computer calculated my age and told me I was 23. I proceeded to argue with the computer. Even going as far as refreshing the page and starting the registration all over again. I finally whipped out my phone and decided to calculate my age because obviously that computer had a grudge against me. Lo and behold, my phone also told me I was 23. Still in denial, I called up my mum and asked her how old I was. Her reply was, "Ayo, so gbadun daada bayi?" (Ayo, are you well?) And she hung up.I had just recieved quite the shock. Despite my living in chronic denial, I still continued to grow. Time continued to pass. I continued to age. Every year, I'm thankful for the gift of life. I'm thankful that even t…