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Showing posts from February, 2015

My Dilemma

I apologize for not writing in a while. I've been researching. That and the fact that it seems I'm out of things to write. I'm down with a severe bout of writer's block. I cannot explain how glad I am that this is not what I do to earn a living. I would most likely starve(at the very least). Recently, I've been feeling like I haven't been pushing myself enough. I've gotten so comfortable with my chosen niche that any other thing just seems like hard work. As much as I'm trying not to succumb to my laziness, I feel like I'm already losing the battle. I never look forward to writing anymore. I have tons of email I am yet to reply(I sincerely apologize for that and I will get to it today).I feel like I've lost my inspiration. I remember reading somewhere that it takes a certain amount of imagination, inspiration, willpower and discipline to write. I used to have imagination and inspiration on my side...now it's 0/4. My greatest challenge being …

Another Journey??!

I know you've been on so many journeys with me since I started this blog. I've been on a lot haven't I? I truly am thankful that most of you tagged along with me. I remember my journey to a better me, I was able to work on my anger issues, my unforgiving attitude and so much more. Then my journey to becoming a better writer by writing every day for a full month. I accomplished that feat as well. The only journey I've continually failed at is the one targeted at my finally reaching my target weight. My problem with weight loss is that it requires more discipline and willpower than I've got. You just can't give what you don't have. I've been on so many fad diets in the past one year and I always, always, gain the exact amount I intended to lose. It became a little easier when I stopped obsessing about losing weight. By no deliberate action of mine, I dropped a couple of pounds, without even trying. The sad news is that my weight has always fluctuated. I&#…

Alpha Males: Mark!!!

I've been getting emails asking me to delve into my series; Alpha Males again. I thought about it, and I decided it wasn't a bad idea. Afterall, where's the fun in having all these stories and then keeping them to myself or within my tight-knit group of friends. Fine men should be talked about. It's the female way!Till date, he's my favorite Alpha Male. Unlike with the rest, I actually let myself develop feelings for Mark(real name withheld by me). I should probably start with how we met. First I must state that I'm a pretty good cook, I just prefer to eat out. Cooking is a special activity. Sigh...I'm lazy, so I prefer not to cook if I can eat out. It was on one of such days that I met Mark. I know it looks like there's a pattern forming, ignore it. On this particular day, I wasn't interested in going to a fast food restaurant or regular restaurants. I was craving something completely African. I was craving me some Amala and Ewedu, topped with smok…

Man Crush Monday: August Alsina

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August Anthony Alsina Jnr. Born September 3, 1992. I know what you're thinking, so let me stop you right there. I don't have any secret fixations for men with tatoos or piercings. In actual fact, I can barely stand the stuff, but, I make exceptions from time to time. Besides, he's really tall, that's definitely a 'pro' that neutralizes the 'con' of tattoos.




Putting aside his height, looks and the fact that he has a mouth that could haunt a woman's dreams for days; I respect what he did with himself. I like that he broke free from his past and forged a different kind of future from himself. I know he's not the first man to do that, but he's still pretty young and there were so many ways it could have gone differently and very wrong. Even though he lost his older brother and friend, he found a way to escape. Music gave him that escape. Through his music, he tells his story and what a story it is! I also admire him for being a father figure t…

A Love Letter For My Readers

Dear Readers, Today is the universal day of love. Personally, I think everyday should be that day. Who better to share my love with than my beautiful and loyal readers who have stuck by me through good posts and not so good posts. My readers who trust me with their problems. My readers who encourage me and help me grow. To be honest, February 14 is not my favorite day. I'm not a big fan of public displays of affection or publicity stunts to show your friends how truly 'in love' you both are. For me, love is deeper and will always be deeper than all that. I understand the need to be reassured atleast once every year that you made the right choice and like a friend of mine would say, "it doesn't hurt to let the world know you're lucky to have found love."Let me just get on with it.To the couples; Happy Valentine's Day!  Hopefully, you have a wonderful day planned. It doesn't have to be something grand. The little gestures are the most meaningful. Be…

Re: What is Love?

I've been doing a lot of research on the linguistic term, LOVE. I learned a great deal following my research and I want to share it with you.So I ask again, what is love? Love is not in how we feel but in how we act. Love is a verb. It has to do with actions. It goes deeper than the possessiveness. Than the bouts of jealousy. Than the physical attraction. Love is spiritual. It is far from emotional. That is why love drives insane. It is also why love turns the wisest of men into fools. Love humbles you. It reforms you. You want to be better for love. You want to be worthy of love. Love is a silent call. Only the chosen hear it. Love reaches out to the soul. Love is giving. It's giving and giving. Love is also receiving. It's receiving and receiving. Love strikes a perfect balance between giving and taking. Love transforms you. Love disables your ego and mocks your pride. Love strengthens and love weakens. Love makes you feel invincible. It also makes you more aware of real…

Romantic Dementia!!!

One of my favorite authors used this term in one of her books. The term literally jumped out at me. So, I decided to carry out a little research of my own. Yes, I'm perfectly aware that the term doesn't exist as a whole but they exist separately. I also know that to play with words, you have to be able to give old terms new meanings and that is what I've done. I'll start by defining the 2 terms as different entities. Romantic means something that pertains to an idealized form of love. Dementia means madness or insanity. So, together, Romantic Dementia means Insane Love or to be Mad With Love. Work with me, I'll make some sense soon. Many of us go through this phase often. Again and again. Over and over. Simply put, romantic dementia is; A progressive decline in cognitive function due to damage or disease in the brain beyond what might be expected from normal love. Areas particularly affected include memory, attention, judgement, language and problem solving. Yes, I…

Does Age Matter?

I have to keep reminding myself that I have to look at this from different points of view. A reader asked me if age mattered when it comes to love. My reply? Yes and no. It depends on you and your beliefs. With someone like myself, age plays an important part of my choice. I am of the opinion that men mature late and yes I know that age isn't maturity, it's just that, age is also maturity. There's a certain level of maturity we expect from someone a certain age. We might forgive a younger person for being immature but we wouldn't do the same for an older person. Do you get that?I actually have a personal experience that buttresses my point. When I was in my 3rd year in the university, I met this guy. You know I'm partial to tall men and he was definitely tall. 6ft4" to be precise. I liked him at first glance and that was all. He's cute, ofcourse I was attracted to him but that's only a normal human reaction. His name was Yemi. One day, I was stuck in a…

Here's A Dose Of Honesty For Ya!

A reader asked me a question yesterday. It was a question that not only deserved an answer but also required my sharing the answer with the rest of my readers as well. I felt like I had to answer the question on this platform. Her question made me feel like I've been misleading you all. Not only that, I feel like I'm not coming across to my readers the right way. Either that or my message gets distorted at some point. The question was, "Do you have a perfect relationship?". Here's my answer;

No. I do not! A perfect relationship doesn't exist. We all have to work on our relationships from time to time. I'm only human and as such I tend to make the same mistakes you make. My relationship is far from perfect. It's far from good too. It's something I work on every day to make better. A popular saying goes, "Doctors are the worst patients". I've come to find that to be very true. In this scenario I'm the doctor and I'm the worst …

An Open Letter To Mr. Maybe

Dear Mr. Maybe, I'm truly not sure where to start. Sometimes, I feel you're THE ONE, my missing rib. Other times I wonder what I did that was so wrong that I'm being punished by being in love with you. I want so much more than you're willing to give,  more than you might ever be able to give me. I can't help feeling the way I do. It's tough on a lady when she's crazy about a man and he's not crazy about her. You switch extremities so fast I hardly know what to think anymore. One minute you're hot and I'm your queen and the next you're cold and I'm just a pest.My love for you is obvious. I'm so obsessed with you that no other man stands a chance. I give of myself, wholly and completely to you. But, I always feel you hold back a part of yourself from me. It hurts that I can't have all of you. Is that too much to ask for? I don't want much, I just want to be secure in your love. The thing is, I'm not sure where I stand with …

Man Crush Monday: Rotimi Alakija

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Rotimi Alakija, otherwise known as DJ Xclusive. I know he was born on the 16th of October. He's British-Nigerian.  I have no idea how old he is. If I was to take a guess I would put him somewhere between late 20s and early 30s. He's cute in a cuddly type of way(and yes I know he was nominated for best photoshopped pictures, I still think he's good looking).



I would have loved if he was a little taller, but his height suits him. He looks great in a suit(I need my crushes to look good enough to eat in a suit). I must admit that what I admire most about him is the fact that he's well-educated. There's nothing like a man with certificates. It's lovely to know that he's more than just a  puffed up disc-jockey(and it also doesn't hurt that he's nephew to the richest black woman in the world).


His physical, academic and financial attributes aside, he's good at what he does. It's not enough to do something, you have to excel at it as well. He does …