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Showing posts from January, 2017

What Do Women Want? - 11 (Concluding Part)

Mr. O asked to see me so we could talk again. He wanted me to come to a decision. He didn't appreciate my sitting on a fence. He wanted me to be either all in or all out. After my stint with Mr. S (Lucifer's nephew), I decided that a girl could do a whole lot worse (which I did!) than Mr. O. He was a good man, he made mistakes, corrected them and it was time I forgave him. I told him I was all in!Turns out Mr. S could be petty too. I'm an avid reader. Most of you know that by now. I invest a lot of money on my library. I set aside money every month for new books. My books are my babies. I love them all equally. I read them lovingly again and again. I love their smell. I rarely lend them out if I don't trust the person in question to take good care of them. Mr. S had one of my babies (books) and I stupidly forgot to collect before I left him. But I couldn't very well let go of the book. It was a limited edition. I couldn't be sure I would ever get it again. So, …

What Do Women Want? - 10

Mr. O had been trying to get me to meet up and I had been blowing him off. I finally agreed that we do so. We did. And we talked about EVERYTHING. It was a fiery conversation and it exploded fast (probably because I get angry too fast). He insisted that he had turned a new leaf and that I trust him on that. I maintained that I couldn't trust him since he had broken my trust over and over again in the recent past. He wanted me to take a leap of faith. But the only One I do that with is God. I don't trust the arm of flesh to catch me when I fall or teach me how to fly. Finally, he asked to be kept on probation. He was willing to prove it to me and didn't mind how long it would take for me to believe it (I believed it from the moment he proposed probation...but I decided it was best to let him do the work so he valued the result). Meanwhile, things were becoming disastrous with Mr. S. I couldn't very well let him go yet...his job wasn't done. Then one day, for a reaso…

What Do Women Want? - 9

For some reason that still remains unknown to me, Mr. S acted like he was God's gift to women. I remember thinking to myself, "It's not that hard to be submissive to Mr. O, he's a gentleman but my stubbornness is now making me learn submission in the wilderness." I tell you, the two months I dated Mr. S made me appreciate and value Mr. O a whole lot more. You know how a guy is so cute you forgive him almost any wrongdoings? Well, Mr. S was the exact opposite (keep in mind that beauty is in the eye of the beholder). Mr. S is about 5 years older than Mr. O and Mr. O is 5 years older than I am...I'm almost 5 years older than a 20 year old. Lol...I know...age is really creeping up on me. Mr. S is sexist. He's chauvinistic and he thinks he's always right. I could handle that. Keep in mind that I'm a feminist...I believe in gender equality and I truly believe no gender is greater than the other. We are just unique and have different purposes. So...I cou…

What Do Women Want? - 8

With Mr. O gone (and me not being exactly sure if he left for good), I decided to give Mr. S a good old-fashioned chance to wow me. Sigh! It's hard for me to deal with pain. My emotional intelligence is quite low compared to my IQ...I'm sort of a user. While some might use drugs, alcohol (tried that...liked it too much had to quit) or food (tried that too, gained a shitload of weight..took me 3 years to lose it and I'm still not done yet o), I prefer to use people. The only side effect is that you might gain an enemy. I can deal with that!I don't set out to hurt or use...it usually just happens. It's a bad thing and I'm dealing with it. It's easier for me to forget and not dwell on pain if there's someone else there to take my mind of it. It's part of my inability to deal with issues that are emotionally draining or confrontation. I quit when it starts to involve too much of my emotions at play. I'll rather choose selective amnesia and pretend w…

What Do Women Want? - 7

When I got more into character, I became more tolerant. I realised Mr. S wasn't all that bad. He had some vices that at first fascinated me before going on to creep me out and then disgust me. During this period, Mr. O was getting the cold shoulder from me. I barely talked to him anymore. I only picked his calls when I was bored and sometimes, just for the fun of it, I would add his number to my auto-reject list. I stopped asking to see him and when he wanted to see me, I was always busy.Being the ardent pursuer that he is, the more I rebuffed him, the harder he chased me. Some days I would gift him with my presence. By this time, it would look to an outsider like I was in a committed relationship with Mr. S. This irked Mr. O, I could tell but he always managed to rein in his emotions. He had convinced himself that it was a harmless friendship and he refused to ask me about it until...One of his friends got wind of it and being the 'busybody' that he is, proceeded to '…

What Do Women Want? - 6

At this point, I think I'm going to need to make use of initials to enable you differentiate between the two men. Mr. Adupeola is Mr. O and the other guy (my boring distraction (boring and distraction don't really mix well in the same sentence)) is Mr. S. Are we good? Cool! So, continuing from part 5, I was hanging out with friends when Mr. S caught my eye. He seemed like the perfect candidate for my little experiment.How did I go about it? Hold your horses, I'll tell you!!! I know sometimes I come across a little bit  contradictory. It's that I have my personal principles but I'm not a rigid person. I'm liberal. While I might not agree with your principles and not hesitate to tell you so, I'll also not judge you. I don't expect or like to be judged either. I don't have anything against women that go after the men they want for one reason or the other. If they have the guts and don't mind the consequences, good for them. But I like to be pursued…

What Do Women Want? -5

I want to say he did something to me that has never been done before. But he didn't...he was just typically male. Considering the fact that I assumed he was a good boy, I might have been the one setting myself up for dissappointment. Ofcourse, he had the 'other woman syndrome' in his case though, it was 'other women'. How many times have I said I don't like to share? I really don't. And it wasn't with one person...it was with a bunch of people.Sigh! I forgave him every time. Not because I wanted to but because to qualify to myself as normal, I needed to last through that one year. I was frustrated and I made sure he was frustrated too. But, I always got blamed. Probably because I always went over the top (I really need to learn balance). I'm an extremist. I always take things too far. So, I knew I couldn't win by troubling him just because he troubled trouble. I decided to take a breather. I decided to choose the path of peace and see what would…

What Do Women Want? - 4

Okay...before I go into what I did or how I got my revenge, I'll like to use part 4 to clear the air. I don't want what I write to completely define me. Why? Because, I'm like an onion...(remember when Shrek said that?! That was pretty cool). I have layers. I'm not one personality. I have a full plate. I'm like a six-course meal. I'm not completely one thing.Like some people would say I'm shy (I really am) and others would say I'm outspoken (sometimes it's Dutch courage...other times, it's a topic I'm passionate about). I can be cruel...I've been cruel...but I can also be very kind. I'm both harsh and hospitable....so different people might have different opinions of me determined by the 'me' they met or are used to.Now that we've got that out of our systems...I'll also like to state that I'm not superficial or vain. I mean, I might be a little...but everybody is to some degree, right? Like, I don't think I…

What Do Women Want? - 3

Before you ask, I'll just go ahead and answer. In social media terms, I'm not single but in official terms, I am. Lol...it's complicated. I don't think anyone in real life has ever asked about my love life and I've never just deflected the question or just answered with a ..."what boyfriend?" "Or boyfriend ko" and sometimes I actually full on lie and say, "I'm single". I don't know why but as I've always been low-key reserved. When I was younger, I might have blurted it out...but as I grew, I preferred to keep certain things closer to heart (people don't have to know everything).For the sake of this post, I'll be stylishly honest (*wink*). I've been in a relationship for a year and a couple of months (my longest relationship btw...). I don't think I ever had that 1st phase with him. You know, the euphoric phase. Where you're just so much in love and everything they do is awesome? Nope (He might have had …

What Do Women Want? - 2

Okay...so let's talk a bit about this old 'friend' of mine. Since this post wouldn't have happened if I didn't get nosy about his love-life, I think it's only right we talked about him. I promised him I wouldn't mention his name. I'm not really certain when I met him for the first time...was it late 2008 or mid-2009? Not sure! I can't remember...I hardly pay attention to certain details.I liked him...he was a good friend to me. A little too sweet for my taste (and I've got a sweet tooth). Anyway, we kinda dated for a while (shocker! I know, right?). I wasn't fully into it though. He was too nice and I did all I could to shock him...didn't work. Never worked. My major problem with him was I would ask, "Why do you like me?" And he would have no reply. Like, that's a question that needs an answer. I'm a logical person. I have to have a reason to believe...I always need proof. Let me digress a bit. I don't believe in Go…

New Battles To Be Won, New Mountains To Climb!

I know....I know...I went AWOL. I'm sorry about that. I needed to clear my head...I needed to put a lot of things in perspective. Towards the end of 2016, I started to question a lot of things. My belief system, my faith, my dreams, my goals, EVERYTHING! I started to doubt myself...I started to doubt my calling. I asked God, "Why place a dream in ny heart if You're not going to help me realize it?" Ofcourse  He answered me right back, "Do your part and I'll do Mine!"Thing is, I don't even seem to know what my part is anymore. I don't seem to have the drive or zeal anymore. Sure, I'm still compassionate, I'm still hurting for others but I also know if I don't do it, someone else will! God is not limited to only one option. What happened to the dreams of my youth though? Why are we so quick to let go when things get a little bit too hard? I tell people not to give up, I encourage them to try one more time and all I've ever done is …

What Do Women Want?

Please do not think I'm about to answer that question. I'm female and even I don't know what we want. Instead, I've decided to use the topic as an opportunity to be candid about everything. I could have found a better title, but I'm lazy and I re-watched that movie...you know, the one with Mel Gibson (yummy!)...and it just stuck with me. Mostly because of uncle Mel.Then again, a late-night conversation with an old friend (yeah...I'm sticking with friend) inspired me to truly wonder. It takes a certain amount of maturity in a woman for her to know what she truly wants out of life and her relationship. Since I can't claim to be fully mature (although, it seems I'm getting there), I can't honestly say I know what I want. I mean, I have an idea...I just tend to have ADHD when it comes to relationships. Let me just start out by saying I know I'm hard to love (I even find it hard to love myself). My parents and siblings? Stuck with me! I guess they re…