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Showing posts from March, 2014

Happy Mother's Day!!!

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To every mother; young, old, single, married, rich, poor, living or dead. To the women that go out of their way for their children. Women who give their all so their children could have some left over. Women who encourage and support. Women who mold their sons and stand by their daughters. Women who have gone without so that their children wouldn't have to.Nothing in the world compares to a mother's love. A mother's love has protective abilities. It preserves. It gives courage to march on. A mother's love is unconditional. Even when they can't be there, it still finds a way to reach you. A mother's love is so much more precious than the rarest of jewels.A mother is a daughter's best friend and a son's first love. A mother is someone that always pushes you to do more, to get better and when you succeed, she claps the loudest and the longest. With her, you always get a standing ovation. No matter what you do, no matter the number of times you fail, no mat…

Father; A Daughter's First Love!

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He sets the standard for the kind of man we let into our lives. Anytime we settle for a man that isn't like him we get hurt. Everytime we trust a man that doesn't treat us the same way he does, we get heartbroken. He's our protector. A father is by nature overprotective of his daughter. No matter how big she gets, she remains his little girl. The kind of bond they share, it's impossible to break.He's there through all the good times and the bad. Even on a terribly bad day, he knows just what to say or do to make it all better. He keeps you confident reminding you always of how beautiful he thinks you are. All he wants is to hold your hand and guide you and have you call him, "daddy".Even when you reach the dreaded teenage years and you start to have secrets and you can no longer tell the only one you've ever really confided in how you're feeling, it's okay just knowing if you wanted to, you could because he would always be there and he will ne…

If The Youths Are Really The Leaders Of Tomorrow Then Nigeria Is F**ked!

In a situation like this, the Yorubas will say, "iwaju o se lo, eyin o se pada si" roughly translated, it means, "the future looks gloomy but the past is nothing to write home about either". I know I don't really have to explain why this is the case with Nigeria. We've been ruled over the years by the same set of greedy, inhumane, corrupt, soulless demons (give or take a few variations) and it looks like in the future we're just going to evolve to an upgrade of the versions we already have.  Yes, we all dream of a better Nigeria (some more than others), but there's really nobody ready to do anything about it. We've been told countless times, infact it has been sung to us many a time when we were children that, 'the youths are the leaders of tomorrow". We were so naive back then. We actually believed it. I just keep wondering though. Who do we really have to blame? Our leaders?  The parents? The teachers? Whose fault is it exactly that t…

Detoxifying Your Body And Your Mind.

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We already know that detoxifying means getting rid of toxic substances or toxins. When it comes to health matters, we know it means getting rid of toxins in our systems. To be completely healthy though, we have to not only deal with the enemy within but the enemy without as well. They are both equally harmful to us.When I say enemy without,  you're going to automatically assume I'm talking about the environment. In a way, I'm talking about it but also the kind of people you keep around you. These 2 factors can also add to the state of your wellbeing. Okay, take for example, you all know I decided to kick start my weight loss program with a 1 week detox exercise. During this week, I have to be extra careful what goes into my mouth. It has to be organic or raw. No refined sugars, no processed foods. No alcohol, nothing! It's a lot like weaning. I have to let go of everything I love to eat. I must admit that it hasn't been very easy. Infact, it has been quite hard on …

Time To Lose It!

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The series, Let's Talk About Our Relationships, has already kicked off and it will continue. I'm just trying to find a way to satisfy the people that asked me certain questions. Some asked me because they felt it was worth a try and some did so has to have a reason to criticize me. I appreciate all the efforts, afterall I asked for it. Thanks guys!This post has nothing to do about the series though. If you remember clearly (that is my loyal readers), I said I gained a little weight last year. I went up 2 or 3 dress sizes. I didn't really have a problem with it. I've always been confident no matter my size. Besides, I had gained and lost weight in the past. This time though, I am finding it a little bit tough. I wouldn't say that I have tried series of diets and exercises because I haven't.  I haven't been able to come up with enough zeal to lose the weight.I read somewhere that it's much easier to lose weight if you join a group of people with the same …

Wrong Relationships! - 2

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In my last post I enumerated 6 warning signs of a wrong relationship. I cannot emphasis enough on how unhealthy staying in a wrong relationship is. I decided that it would be best if I dropped a few more warning signs that a relationship is wrong for you.They are;1. If you keep doubting you're in the right relationship: We tend to notice major stuff unconsciously at first. Poets and romantics would say your heart feels the truth way before your head figures it out. If doubts keep arising frequently in your mind about your relationship, about your partner, then you're probably in the wrong relationship. Not thoroughly checking to see if there's something to this doubt and just constantly pushing it aside may lead to regret. If it was right, you know you wouldn't doubt it. Not in your heart,  not where it really matters!2. If your partner makes all the major decisions in the relationship: A relationship is 2 people coming together to become one. Still, they are still 2 p…

Wrong Relationships! - 1

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How do you identify when a relationship is bad for you? How do you know if your partner is all wrong for you? There are so many warning signs that point out if a relationship is wrong for you. We tend to ignore all these signs though. We need to remember that our relationships define us and that a healthy relationship makes a happy person. How can you identify a wrong relationship or tell when you're in the wrong one? I want to help you in that area. So, I'm going to list a couple of signs of a wrong relationship. Here goes;1. You're unhappy in it: Your relationship should add to your happiness not deduct from it. A relationship that makes you feel bad all the time is wrong for you. There are some times you won't be happy with your relationships or some days you would wish that your partner was more like someone else's. Those days should be few and far apart. If you're constantly unhappy, you're in the wrong relationship. Get out of it!2. Domestic violence …

Let's Talk About Our Relationships!

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How do you know if you're in the right relationship?  How do you know if your partner is the right choice for you? How do you know if your relationship will stand the test of time? How do you know if you got it right this time? Choosing the right relationship is a lot like shopping for new shoes. If you get the wrong ones you can be sure that you would be in for a world of pain what with all the pinching and discomfort while walking. What are you left with?  Corns and bunions! But what if you get the right ones? My God, you would be in fashion heaven. Lol! When you wear them, you know they make your legs look good, you know they complement your dressing and add a sort of elegance/swag to your walk. They fit you just right. While I might not be an expert on fashion, I do know that if you're uncomfortable with what you're wearing you never get the best out of that look. You're busy fidgeting with one thing or the other. I know some people say you should suffer for your f…

Step 7: Explore Your Spirituality

This is a very broad subject. But to me it's quite straightforward. I cannot begin to explain the kind of life storms that my faith has gotten me through. A man with no faith doesn't exist. He's like the living dead. Faith is what helps us through the darkest chapters of our lives. Faith is what makes us see the light so far ahead inside a tunnel. There is no way you can be a better person if you do not have God. Submitting yourself to God and His will subdues your flesh. I know it's not easy but we are so lucky to have a merciful God. You need to take some time out to reevaluate your stand with God. You need to make sure that you're walking in His ways (atleast that you're trying your hardest to).Being spiritual takes us away from the physical. At this point you view situations and circumstances the same way God views them. There is no way you walk with someone and they don't rub off on you. Who better to rub off on you than your Heavenly Father? You know …

Step 6: Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone; Try Something New!

Stepping outside of our comfort zone (our place of safety) is not easy for so many of us. Some people find the very idea of change or doing or even eating something new quite terrifying. I'll give you a personal example. I've never eaten or prepared a poached egg (don't even know if that's the right way to say it), anyway, yesterday I decided to make it and actually eat it. Since I had never prepared it before I had like a crate of eggs just in case. I was determined that even if it wuld take me using up all the eggs, I would make it.I'm glad to report that I got it at the very first try. I cannot begin to tell you all the thoughts I had while making it. To me, it's preparation is quite icky. I kept wondering if it would cook all the way through,  then I started thinking about the fact that white people eat the strangest things (not a racist). For the benefit of those who do not know how to make a poached egg,  I'll just go ahead and summarize it. You crack…

Step 5: Be Patient!

My people, the Yorubas often say, "Suru lere" meaning, "patience has virtue/or it's rewards". That saying is very true. Just a little dose of patience can save you from a world of hurt. Patience is a virtue that eludes even the best of us. I can not begin to detail to you the things I have ruined because of my lack of patience. I am very impatient and I don't like having to follow a schedule for any reason. Also, my ego has led me to believe that my impatience is actually what makes me different. Afterall, if I want something I just go get it. Just being patient keeps you from making wrong choices. Wrong choices like saying yes to the wrong guy, accepting the wrong job, even quitting something. It's amazing what changes when you just slow down and think about it for a while. I've heard often that if you have a hard puzzle today, instead of jumping in at solving it, try after a good night's sleep and you'll find how many other options there a…

Step 4: Let Go Of Friendships And Relationships That Have Run Their Course.

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What does this mean? It means letting go of people that have no business still being in your lives. We were created to be dynamic because He who created us is dynamic. He moves faster than technology and scientific breakthroughs. We never stay at the same point all through our lives. We all know that the only constant thing in life is change. And whenever change comes, some things go with it's tide.So what if you've been friends for ages, if the person keeps pulling you back instead of forward, it's time to let go. Your relationship of 5 years that doesn't seem to be going anywhere. You're still at that same spot you were when you started out together, gather your courage and leave. Don't let the fear of loneliness make you stay where you shouldn't! Holding on to someone that doesn't want to be with you is very unhealthy. Let your ex go and just move on.I know how hard it is to let go. I've had issues in this area for so long, I still do at times. I…

Step 3: Be Grateful, Say Thank You!

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It's amazing how we always notice what we do not have and in so doing, forget to be grateful for what we do have. I have seen people murmur and complain about everything wrong in their lives never for once mentioning everything good. I am as guilty as every one else is when it comes to not appreciating all I have. My Bishop says often, "if you have lost anything, God is the reason you didn't lose everything!" I agree with him.In the last 5 years I've been quite ungrateful. I even went through a phase where I questioned the existence of God and His sovereignty. It was a dark period for me. All of my thoughts where dark. I never expected anything good from anything or anyone. I prepared myself for disappointment. I let it slip into my mind that I had nothing; nothing I wanted anyway. It never crossed my mind that I had so many things to be grateful for, so many people I never appreciated.My parents I've been together for so long and when they talk about each ot…

Step 2: Accomplished!

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I don't have much to say this evening.  I just had to let you know that I kept my word. I am so glad that some of you are actually participating in the program and asking me for advices. We will help each other be better people! Okay, I hope tomorrow's step is a little less stressful. Talk to you guys tomorrow.  Hugs and kisses...

Step 2: Forgive!

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Lol...I told you the second step was a tough one. You have to accomplish 3 feats in this step;1. Ask for forgiveness. 2. Forgive others.3. Forgive yourself. Forgiveness in ny own definition is relieving people of their past offences and getting rid of your desire to punish them. It's like showing mercy. I recently learned that forgiveness is an attribute of the strong. A weak person never forgives. I will go ahead and confess that this is not my strongest forte. Forgiving people or myself has never come easily to me in the past. And when it comes to asking for forgiveness, I only do that when I'm 100% sure I was wrong (and my ego never allows me to be wrong often).But, this is a new me or atleast I'm on a journey to becoming a new me, a better version of the old me! Yesterday's exercise was truly uplifting and although I wanted to jump this step at first; I'm here stating it and so I cannot back down now. The one person I thought I would never be able to forgive, I…

Step 1: Accomplished!

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Whew! I must confess, I'm feeling rather vulnerable right now. I really opened up in ways my pride wouldn't have let me in the past. I feel a little lighter. You know I had all these things running around in my mind and had no outlet for them. Who better to tell it to than the people I always wanted to tell it to?Some led to deep discussions, others led to arguments, a few to teasing and others just kept silent. But I achieved my goal and I am free from wondering what could have been if I spoke my mind. Now I know. If you took part in this step, let it become part of you. Stop keeping stuff in. You just have to know the right time to speak. I am so glad I did this. To me it's a really huge step because I'm more reserved than most. That and the fact that my ego is so big it won't allow me say anything that might make me look like a victim. I guess I've really grown in the past year. Trust me when I say that from this first step I can already tell that this is re…

Step 1: Open Up!

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This doesn't mean that you go around telling everyone your biggest, darkest secrets. It only means that there are some things that really shouldn't stay hidden and you should speak up about them (not asking you to go and confess to a major crime or anything, feel free to do that at your own risk though and don't blame Adupeola after). Before you venture into this step understand that most times opening up doesn't solve anything, it just lifts a little weight off your shoulders. Opening up leaves some people very vulnerable but I've come to understand that keeping EVERYTHING bottled up is what leads to Therapy. Remember that saying, "a problem shared is half-solved (or something like that)". I'm certain that a great deal of you have something you've always wanted to say to the people around you, some nice, some not so nice. Some of you have kept your side of the story quiet for too long. Most of you do not even inform people when they offend you (I…

Journey To A Better Me!

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Okay, before I go in about this, I wanna ask you guys if you watched Olamide with Toke Makinwa on Hiptv like 2 days ago; Trending! He did something that not only made me love him more but also respect him for his carefree 'crazy' attitude. We could all learn something from him. Wanna know what I'm talking about? Lol...I'll tell. You all know my blog isn't for news or gossip so please don't count it as such.When they got to the segment where he was to read tweets from fans (and haters), he actually got some awful comments (some people just hate success) one actually called him a "big fool" and all he did was laugh and then he started scrolling with his middle finger. Lmao! I'm guessing the middle finger is universally known to mean my favorite reply to haters; FUCK YOU. I was like, " wow!!! Not only is this guy sick I'm guessing he doesn't even know how far gone he is." You just gotta love the dude though. Subtle should be his mid…

The Truth!

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Some people have been on my case lately about how I'm not being honest and how I'm able to psycho analyze every one but myself. Normally, I would ignore statements like that but I wouldn't want to lose the trust of my readers. I'm a very reserved person and although it seems like I talk about everything, I keep the things that really matter close to my heart. Lol...what's the point of hiding anything from you guys when I've been so open thus far? So, I've decided that this post will be sort of my very own tell all! Why do I love psychology so much? I love it because it teaches understanding of the human character and it helps you to remember that there is probably always more to what you see. It teaches you to dig deeper until you find all the answers. The answers that matter. Lol...I know you expected me to give some scientific answer but I can't, it's not just theory to me. It's so much more. I'm going to go ahead and bare my soul right no…

Men & Their Shoes

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Everybody that knows me, I mean really knows me know I don't care much for fashion. Scratch that!!! I do not care for it at all. I'm not balanced enough and recently I found out I prefer something I can take off fast. The moment I get in my room I undress...completely. To me, clothes are made to cover up your nakedness when you go out.  On some special days, I go the extra mile other than that, I keep it simple. Not much is simple in my life so I'd rather the few things in my control remain simple.Now, I know you're wondering about the title of this post. Lol! I do not have a foot fetish (atleast I think I don't). It's just that whenever I see a cute man, I go straight from his face to his feet! I love men's shoes. I love it so much I can discern quite a bit about the man wearing them just by looking at the shoes. For me, the more expensive the better. Also, I like the way they make their steps more graceful. The male species happen to be awkward and uncoor…

It's Been Three Months!!!

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This is wishing all the readers of Just Thinking Out Loud, a happy new month. Thank you for your love and support this past month. Thank you for your suggestions and healthy criticism. You have all helped me grow. Thank you for your encouragements and your time. I hope in this new month I don't lose your attention. Hopefully, I'll get more helpful criticism that will take me a step closer to becoming the kind of writer I aspire to be. I thank God for blessing me with the gift of writing. A special thank you to my dad, my mum, my brother and my little sis for spreading the word (luv u). A big thank you to bro. Olagbenro Eyitayo for his encouragements (thank you,sir). A gigantic thank you to Emmanuella Sorunke, the day you told me my posts was one of the reasons you still checked Facebook was my happiest. This last month, I almost gave up, but the thought of not even trying because of you guys made me push myself a little harder. I am glad to announce that in the past month my a…