Wrong Relationships! - 1

How do you identify when a relationship is bad for you? How do you know if your partner is all wrong for you? There are so many warning signs that point out if a relationship is wrong for you. We tend to ignore all these signs though. We need to remember that our relationships define us and that a healthy relationship makes a happy person. How can you identify a wrong relationship or tell when you're in the wrong one? I want to help you in that area. So, I'm going to list a couple of signs of a wrong relationship.

Here goes;

1. You're unhappy in it: Your relationship should add to your happiness not deduct from it. A relationship that makes you feel bad all the time is wrong for you. There are some times you won't be happy with your relationships or some days you would wish that your partner was more like someone else's. Those days should be few and far apart. If you're constantly unhappy, you're in the wrong relationship. Get out of it!

2. Domestic violence occurs: This one is for the ladies in particular (although men can be in situations like this as well, it is rare!). If your partner feels the need to hit you or push you around a bit when he's mad or has a point to make then you're in the wrong relationship. Understand that no matter what he says after, if he really loves you, he would never raise his hand to you. If he really loves you, he would want to protect you from getting hurt. If someone hits you, it hurts. There is no excuse for that kind of behavior and people like that never really change. Get out, fast!!!

3. You're taken for granted: If you're in a relationship where your partner takes you for granted and doesn't respect your feelings, you're in the wrong relationship. Being taken for granted brings about disrespect in the long run. You should never stay with someone that claims to love you but disrespects you. Why would you even want to be with someone like that?

4. You're constantly berated by your partner: In my personal opinion, a relationship should build you. Your partner should be encouraging and supportive. And while sometimes they have to be honest with us even if it would hurt our feelings, your partner should never constantly bring you down. If the one that should hold you up and give you strength tears you down often, it's just a matter of time before you begin to lose your self worth as well.

5. You have never met anybody remotely close or related to your partner: The Yorubas say playfully that a person without family or friends is probably a ghost. While I do not believe in silly superstitions like the existence of ghosts, I agree completely with the saying. Even the most reserved of people has atleast one friend. And if there aren't friends, what about family? The family can be biological or adopted. No one just drops from the skies with no attachments. If your partner has no one around, 4 reasons automatically come to my mind;
a. The person is a fugitive and as such has to stay below radar for fear of being caught (seemingly wild theory but we live in a strange world).
b. The person is married. You only ever meet in hotels or restaurants never their homes. Married people tend to be extra sneaky when having extramarital affairs even to the extent of never revealing their marital status.
c. You're just a fling and they do not want their friends or families knowing you or forming any kind if relationship with you so when it's time to end it, it goes smoothly (for them).
d. Your partner is ashamed to be seen with you in public for one reason or another. Makes you wonder why they are really with you, doesn't it? Just leave and you'll see how many people don't care about silly things and can't wait to show you to the world.
If you're in the right relationship and with the right person, they wouldn't hide you. People just love showing off everything good in their lives.

6. Your partner's friends do not respect you: My people have a saying, I cannot state it clearly in yoruba, so I'll just summarize it in English. They say, "we treat a man's possessions the same way he treats them." This simply means that your partner's friends do not respect you because your partner doesn't. If there is respect, their friends wouldn't dare disrespecting you for fear of getting on their bad side. If you're treated like a treasure, their friends will follow suit and treat you the same way.

There are so many more warning signs but I'll just stop with these 6 for today. To me, they are the most glaring yet frequently ignored warning signs.

Good relationships are worth the wait. So, be patient and wait it out. Better safe than sorry, right? Remember that this is coming from a heart full of love. Please evaluate your relationships and know if you're in the right one. You deserve to have fulfilling relationships because you're a wonderful person and you deserve the best!

Adupeola cares!!!

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