Here's A Dose Of Honesty For Ya!

A reader asked me a question yesterday. It was a question that not only deserved an answer but also required my sharing the answer with the rest of my readers as well. I felt like I had to answer the question on this platform. Her question made me feel like I've been misleading you all. Not only that, I feel like I'm not coming across to my readers the right way. Either that or my message gets distorted at some point. The question was, "Do you have a perfect relationship?". Here's my answer;
  
No. I do not! A perfect relationship doesn't exist. We all have to work on our relationships from time to time. I'm only human and as such I tend to make the same mistakes you make. My relationship is far from perfect. It's far from good too. It's something I work on every day to make better. A popular saying goes, "Doctors are the worst patients". I've come to find that to be very true. In this scenario I'm the doctor and I'm the worst patient in the history of patients. Does this make me a bad doctor? No...not even a little. It only makes me human.

On those days when I don't feel worthy enough to give out relationship advice, I remember that I'm truly good at what I do. What I have is a gift and because of this gift, I've been privileged to help so many people. I am at my happiest when a reader thanks me for helping to restore their relationships or for helping them heal. It also brings to the forefront of my mind that there are so many people that do what I do, people I look up to as well, who are flawed. People like Dr. Phil, Oprah, Michelle Hammond, etc. Their issues doesn't make them unqualified to help people heal, it doesn't make me stop looking up to them either, it makes them easier to connect with and real. I am not comparing myself to these great minds, I'm just making my point clear.

Like I said earlier, my relationship is far from perfect. I have what I would tag, "the bad boy syndrome". It seems that the only kind of man that appeals to me is the kind mothers warn their daughters about. If you're a regular reader of this blog, you'll know that much about me. My Alpha Male series proves that much. I feel like I am better at what I do because of my experiences, young as I may seem. Back to my relationship, I sometimes suffer from romantic dementia(more about that in another post). I want the same thing every woman wants, to love and be loved. At some point, I want to get married and have kids. So, it's only normal that I have the same issues other women do as well.

I love my man annoying as he may be at times. He's as flawed as a bad boy can be. He has commitment issues, he cheats...you know, the normal bullshit. But I deal, because I'm a good sport like that. I have my issues too. I have a major crush on another man who I just found out is married(more about that in another post). I'm reluctant to put all my eggs in one basket. I continually have doubts in my mind about him. I tell my readers that once you're in doubt the best thing to do is leave. But I don't always heed my own advice and I suffer the consequences of being stubborn. I feel like I'm a work in progress and he is too. I'm not one of those lovey-dovey types and so I'm not into couple t-shirts, multiple pictures of us together or changing a part of my name to his on social media. I don't feel the urge to claim him. I am an individual entity and I don't want to be appraised by his involvement with me or mine with him. I've always believed that what's mine is mine and would stay mine if it was meant to be, yes, I might put up a fight to keep it, but only if the fight is worthy of my involvement. Like, I would never ever quarrel with another woman because of him. Life's too short and too full for crap like that. But if it had to do with something I did wrong or could have done better, or my many other flaws, I might be able to muster up enough fight to save my relationship while at the same time working on myself.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that my relationship is just as fucked up as that of some of you. Probably more fucked up than I even think it truly is. And I deal with that every day. I work on it. We work on it. Like I said, 'a work in progress'. I don't feel like I'm better than any of you, because I'm not! Readers that have trusted me with their problems did so because their subconscious believed I wouldn't condescend to them or mock them. They felt it deep at some level that I could truly be of help and thank God, I haven't failed yet. I find a point at which I can truly connect with them. I don't have an answer to every question, but I've pushed them hard enough that they come across the answers themselves. The answer is always buried deep in our hearts. Sometimes, all we need is a push in the right direction. I give that push. A lot of them have come to see me as a friend and a confidant.

Dear reader, I want to answer your question again; No. No. No. I most certainly do not have a perfect relationship. Nobody can ascend to that point. We can only have two people who have found a way to stay committed to each other through thick or thin. I can't honestly say I've done that or that I'm doing that. I want to though. I want to ascend to that point and I hope that many of my readers will as well. I'm just as human as you are. I make mistakes. I'm flawed and far from perfect. I have a big heart though...big enough to let you all in. My love for all of you is profound even though I don't know you all personally, I love you so much!!!

Stick with Adupeola...she won't steer you wrong!!!

That's a promise I intend to keep...