Tips On How To Make Your Relationship Work(Edited)

We all wonder if we are in a relationship that is going to last. At the beginning though, we tend to pay attention to the things that are not important and then we ignore the things that matter. We are caught up in the excitement of the ‘now’ that we forget about the ‘later’. This happens in almost if not every relationship. We tend to forget that it is crucial at the beginning of every fiery hot romance to find out exactly who our partner is; not materially but character wise. We even ignore our partner’s flaws, which might hurt us in future.

We have to keep in mind that when two people are together for a certain period of time, it gets to that particular moment when each of them wonder if they are really with their dream partner, their better half. It is perfectly normal to feel this way; after all, we are all humans. In fact, it gets to a stage that we start to feel insecure about ourselves, I like to call that the ‘clinging stage’. During this phase, it takes every ounce of our will power to stick to that one person. I would like to believe that this might be the major cause of divorces today. These people did not put into consideration the amount of patience needed to make any relationship work, even if your partner is close to perfect!

Therefore, here is what you do; the moment you decide you have found the one you would like to spend the rest of your life with, you start observing.Relationships thrive on how observant we are, especially to the little things. Tough...I know! But there is no other way around it. Whatever you want to turn into a success requires a lot of hard work and time.

That brings us to the next item; you have to invest in your relationship wholeheartedly. Not only materially, but also emotionally and physically. You have to work on it daily and make sure that the fire keeps burning and does not start to smoke. Some people wonder if it is possible to keep the love as strong as it qas at the initial stage. My answer? Yes, it definitely is!

All it takes is figuring out what attracted them to you and you to them. Armed with this information, every other thing is a piece of cake. Notice, I did not say that it signals the beginning of a trouble-free journey I only implied that it makes every other thing simpler and easier to deal with. To make it easier to understand and apply these procedures to your relationships am going to break it down for the women and the men separately.

FOR HER

As a woman, the success of a relationship lies mostly in your dainty little hands. You can either make it work or watch it crumble. You carry almost, if not all of the emotional burden. At times, you are not even sure if the person you are with loves you. He says he does, but he behaves the exact opposite of those words. Well, you just do not get tired of helping him feel more comfortable with sharing his feelings. However, there are other ways to find out if he truly loves you or not. Nevertheless, being female, you feel if you can say it aloud why should he find it so hard to do the same?

Hang in there; it is not as hard as you think. All it takes is a little patience and every other thing will fall into place. Now, I want you to pay adequate attention to the suggestions here and understand them until you actually begin to live it! Our culture makes it a little harder for women to make their relationships work. Women have been led to believe that the lifespan of a relationship lies in the hands of the man and so does their fate.

I totally disagree with that theory. That might have been true in the olden days when women were no better than slaves, but now, we live in the times of woman emancipation. An Era where, “what a man can do, a woman can do better”! So what’s all the hullabaloo about? Since women can now do whatever it is they set their minds to do, why can’t they focus a little bit of their energy in making their relationships work?

The thing is, when it comes to your relationships, you women hang around to see where fate leads you. Do you know psychologists believe a healthy relationship makes for a longer lifespan and keeps you healthy? Have you heard about the ‘heartbreak syndrome’ that lands people in mental institutions and sometimes lead to severe heart problems? If you had, you would realize why it is a big deal to make your relationship work or atleast cultivate healthy relationships. I know you are probably thinking, “Why does it have to be me?” Just ask yourself this, who else??!

You see, sometimes a man finds it very hard to express his feelings. He thinks it might make him seem weak or make him too vulnerable to his woman. So what does he do? He acts as if he could not care less about what she does or does not do which in fact he actually does. Stupid, isn’t it? However, they seem to believe it works just fine.

Sometimes, you just want to hit him, just to know how much he cares. You start doing stuff you think might catch his attention. Other times you just come out clean and ask him if he loves you and him, for the life of him, cannot begin to comprehend why you need to hear those same words repeatedly. The truth is though, if you also start to behave the way they do, they get insecure and start to feel you have stopped loving them and they might start to look around for spare tires.

It helps when you see your man as a big whining baby that constantly needs your attention but doesn’t know how best to ask for it, so he goes about it the wrong way. It is now up to you to figure out what he is trying to say just like a mother figures out how every cry of a baby asks for something different. You do not put aside your needs though. You make him realize right from the very start exactly what you expect from him in the relationship. If you don’t do that you can’t just come up with something at the middle of the journey, he will think you are trying to be the man and that could make him a little more tough to deal with, especially if he is stubborn.

The best way out is that you both sit down at the beginning and define your relationship and where you want it to end up. Do not forget though, if you start out casually, nothing you do can make it serious in future. Men tend to turn away from commitment so, you just made it a whole lot easier for him by telling him you do not expect more from him since you are just busy having fun right now.

Defining your relationship makes things easier for you both. If he is not interested in a long-term thing, he gets to walk out before it is too late and you escape getting hurt. Never stick with a person because you think he will change his mind once he gets to know you. You might have to wait forever for that. Besides, he might just go out and find himself someone else he thinks he might be willing to commit to. In this situation, nobody gets to blame him because you never told him you were ready for more then what you already had.

You also have to get involved in every aspect of his life. Learning to love the people he loves goes a long way. Accepting his hobbies is just as effective. Think about it; it wouldnt hurt you to watch a game of football now and then would it? I am not asking you to pretend to like what you dont. I am just telling you that in doing that, you show your man you are willing to compromise in other  to make 'you' work. You just have to keep in mind that nothing worth having ever comes easy. I am certain that being you will encourage him to be him.

FOR HIM

It is not the amount of money you put in you relationship, it is the love, the attention and the care. Do you really want to risk losing your woman before learning how to do things right? Your ego should not cost you your woman. She is the one person that should probably never glimpse it. You claim to love this woman and so there should be no secrets between you. I have always said that if you love your woman and she really loves you as well, she will take your secrets (no matter what they are) to her grave.

Women have got in built nurturing and protective instincts. It is all about keeping her man safe. Let's venture a bit into spiritual waters. Ever wondered why a woman's ( mother, sister, partner) prayers are so effective? It is because whilst men symbolize the mind(head) of God, women symbolize the heart(spirit) of God. You doubt me? Alright, I'll prove it to you. Think about it. The ego, the incessant need for praise and respect, wanting to be in charge and the only one that matters. Who does that remind you of? Okay, let's  go to the Almighty's heart- jealous God, loving Father, Merciful, compassionate, comforter,helper, etc. See my point? Because of this, God finds it very hard to turn His back on the heartfelt prayer of a mother for her son, wife for her husband, sister for brother...you get the idea? She replicated His heart and as such is able to pull its heartstrings at will.

A man that treats his woman right will thrive in whatever he sets out to do. Am not saying she can do no wrong. All I'm saying is that you give her a chance to tame you and you try your best to keep a smile on her face and then watch her prayers do wonders for you.

How hard can that possibly be? A woman is very easy to please. All you have to do is listen, always be on her side and say the really good stuff. No woman wants to be neglected or ignored. Men, if you want to keep your woman for a little bit longer I suggest you sit up and start doing things right. If you don't, someone else will and the what would you do? Just ask Bruno (when I was your man), stuff like that really happens. Now you know and so you have no excuse for still doing things wrong.

FOR HIM & HER

Love is bittersweet. For some once they fall, they find it so very hard to stand again. For these people, that marks the end for their search for love. I believe that if you can stand again then you will definitely run.

When you are hurt, after nursing your broken heart, learn to love again. No man is an island. Everybody needs that special someone that will make the journey of life not only easier but also much more pleasurable.

Love is so many beautiful things. It is what gets you through everyday. It is what helps you get through your lows and what rejoices with you during your highs.

Above all, love is trusting someone enough to hold a gun to your heart, knowing that if they have to pull the trigger, they will miss.

Yeah, dupe believes in love o! Lol.

With love,
Adupeola