For The Singles! - Boost Your Self-esteem

Self-esteem is very important. It is your self-image. How you rate yourself. How much you respect you. Love you. How much self-worth you have. It is also important that you build it up regularly. It is a terrible idea to wait for someone to come along and help build your self-esteem. That is your job. The best time to work on getting and keeping an healthy self-esteem is during your single phase. During this phase, if you change anything about yourself, you know it's because you want to and not because you want to impress your partner.

There are so many ways to build up your confidence. I want to emphasize how necessary it is to never lose yourself in any relationship. It is important to keep your essence no matter what. People have self-esteem issues for so many different reasons; some because of an overly cynical parent, peer pressure, weight issues, prolonged singlehood,etc. One way or the other each and every of these root causes can be tackled. It is up to you to take your confidence back!

You can not build yourself up if you do not love yourself. That is the first step to being more confident. You've got to love who you are, flaws and all. So, what if you've gained a little weight? If it really bothers you, why don't you do something positive like join a gym and reduce your sugar intake. You should never put your self-esteem in the hands of someone else. It's like giving them the go ahead to crush you. If you become the kind of person you want your dream partner to be attracted to, it's only a matter of time before you find him/her.

Let's say you have a bad habit. How about making a conscious effort to correct that habit? I've been told and I have come to realize that I have issues with submission. I am so sensitive about my feminity that  I practically get all defensive if I feel or perceive it's being threatened. I understand that to have a successful relationship with any man, I would have to learn to be more submissive and actually let my man be the man! I'm working on that. That's me making a conscious effort to make me a better person.

If you polish up your act and start admiring yourself and all the hard work you put into you, you'll stop selling yourself short and your self-esteem would skyrocket. Every issue, petty or gigantic that diminishes our self-esteem can be fixed. Recently, I've been tackling with a low self-esteem. I gained a lot of weight rapidly. Despite knowing all the health risks related to that, I haven't been able to shed 0.1 kg. Every time I go on a diet, I gain more weight. I know most people would just assume this is my fault. Sometimes I think it is. But, if you've ever tackled with weight issues, you would know it isn't that easy to drop weight you rapidly gained. I hate taking pictures or going out right now. I figured I just had to deal with this weight issue to gain back my self-confidence.

I tried gyming(I quitted faster than I started), fad diets, detoxing, fasting, you name it and I've tried it. To know just how many different methods I've gone through, just check my computer. You'll be amazed at how they all work in the opposite for me. Did I give up? No! I just decided to do it my way(the way I should have from the start). I don't like the idea of going to a gym because my strength just isn't there yet. Instead, I took up walking and skipping. I decided to supplement 2 meals with a lite protein shake. I cut off all pastries, desserts and junk. I reduced my sugar intake to less than minimal. That means no chocolates or vodka too. Sometimes, I reward myself, but I don't get carried away.

If I don't work on my body now, if I finally settle down, I figure I would let myself go and then who's to blame if my man cheats on me with a Beyonce look-alike? Me!!! See why I'm dealing with this now? So what if you're battling with anger issues? That can be fixed as well. The problem with people with short fuses is that they get mad at irrelevant things. I'm going to give you an exercise that psychologists believe in no matter how cliche it is. If something or someone ticks you off, before you react, count to ten very slowly in your head...as you reach 10, breathe out slowly. You might have very well expelled your anger along with that breath. Or a more logical explanation, you realize that issue isnt worth your anger or that the moment passed and if you were to get angry now, you would only look silly. Try it!

Take that positive step today.

Self declaration: I love me. I am beautiful, intelligent and creative. I am a good person. Anybody would be lucky to have me as a friend or a partner. I have flaws, but that's okay. They come together to make me the unique person that I am. I choose happiness. I choose joy. I rise above depression, insecurites and self hatred. I am me and no one else can be me...because me is special. I am at peace with myself and the world around me. I love me.

Say that to yourself often and eventually you'll begin to believe it and live it.

Adupeola cares!