Ladies, Do Not Walk Away From Mr. Nice!

When a woman refers to a man as 'nice' she actually means she doesn't see herself becoming romantically attached to him as she isn't all that interested in him. He's a good friend but wouldn't be the best choice for a partner. Why women leave nice men and go for the bad ones is really beyond me. Even the dictionary meaning of these terms proves that is a foolhardy plan!

Why don't you want a nice man? Because he's boring? Because he's passive? Because he's safe? Because he actually cares about your feelings? These should be reasons why you should hold on tight to a nice guy. Yet, you take them for granted and stick them in the friend zone while you pine after a man that tramples on your heart repeatedly.

When I say nice man, I don't mean a man that's pretending to be nice. I'm talking about a man who has a good heart, a man who mixes bravado and sensitivity. A man that knows how to be there for a woman. A good human being. A man that you trust enough to be a woman with. I am just as guilty of this as you are. But I think it's about time we tackle this little problem of ours.

Day after day, I see and hear the complaints of women that have been hurt, maltreated and misused by men. Not every man is like that. You just need one man to prove to you that all men aren't the same and trust me...it will be the dawn of a new day. Nice men aren't as common as I'd like them to be and their patience is very much unlike Job's. Eventually they give up! That's why I want to help you know how to identify a nice man so you don't chase away a good man.

Characteristics of Mr. Nice.

1. He cares: I know it doesn't sound like much but it is. He cares about you, about your life, about your projects, your friends, your day. He is that man that asks, " How was your day?" and actually listens when you tell him.

2. He's not afraid of commitment: Men in general are scared of commitment. The very thought of being in a relationship to them is like being sentenced to prison. Marriage is the life sentence. Lol! I'm not saying Mr. Nice won't have cold feet from time to time (afterall he is still a man), I'm saying he never let's you see him in that state. He approaches you with one thing in mind - Forever! He's risen above the need for instant gratification (sex) and really wants to settle down. Most times, Mr. Nice is unlucky enough to meet up with Miss Bad, the woman that has chronic commitment phobia (which is an anomaly by the way) and he gets hurt. Really, whatever it is that's making you that way, you really need to get help, girlfriend!  You don't want to repel him.

3. He's sensitive: Ladies, you know you got it right when you say yes to a sensitive man. Do not ever think that men cannot be sensitive. A man that is in touch with his sensitive side will never deliberately hurt you. Notice I said 'deliberately'. Hurt, sometimes is inevitable. A sensitive man will be able to gauge your mood and know when to hold you and when to give you some space. He will know when to bring you a tub of icecream, tuck you in with movies and just wait for you. (PMSing around a man like this would work better than Aspirin or vodka).

4. He has temperance: A nice man knows that moderation is key. He lives a balanced life. He doesn't drink too much, party too hard or spend too lavishly. He is not the type to lose his temper no matter what you say or do. He knows better than to lose his cool and throw words with a woman. He actually thinks before he acts and isn't in any way controlled by his emotions. He has disciplined himself and the result is wonderful and worth giving a chance.

5. He's honest: Truth is bitter but we still need to hear it from time to time. If we know it's coming from a heart of love, eventually we move pass the hurt and pain and forgive them knowing they only said it to help us. I don't mean someone deliberately putting you down. I mean a man that loves you enough to tell you the truth about you and your attitude.  A man that knows to tell you when you've been wrong. A man that would never tell you night is day. A man that will rather be upfront with the truth than pay for the lies later. Honesty is becoming extinct. A man that truly values honesty is priceless

If you've assessed your man and he falls in the nice category, be a good woman to him. If you're yet to meet that one. Hold on and don't just jump into something without thoroughly checking if he qualifies as nice. You don't want a bad boy...you want a nice man.

(To be continued...)

Adupeola