The Art Of Flirting!

Flirting, according to Wikipedia, means to behave as though sexually attracted to someone, but playfully rather than with serious intentions.

According to my dictionary, it means to play at courtship; to talk with teasing affection, to insinuate sexual attraction in a playful (especially conversational) way.

According to Adupeola(2014), flirting is the use of SUBTLE, friendly overtures to express your attraction to a member of the opposite sex.

It came as quite the surprise when I hear so many people in my immediate environment (Nigeria), talk about flirting like it's something evil. I almost conceded to Ghana's mastery of the English language. Almost. I've always wondered if Nigerians come up with their own definitions. I mean, why can't they just crack open a dictionary once in a while. A wise man once said, "You cannot be whiter than the whites!" I'll go a step further and say you can't be better at English(the language) than the English(the people).

Why not submit to their mastery of the language? Not their culture and ways(many of which I cannot stand by the way), but definitely their command of English. It's their language. We just borrow it. My mother tongue is Yoruba. I'm ashamed to say that my command of the language is not as polished as I would like it to be, but I took my time to work on it and I'm better at it than most people who grew up speaking the language. It constantly annoys me that some of my cousins can barely grasp Yoruba. For that reason alone, I communicate with them mostly in Yoruba. Just to annoy them of course. I think in English. I did more than just teach myself, I practiced and learned until I was sure my English was impeccable. And like I've told so many people, I would jump at every single opportunity to show my superior command of the language.

Now, back to flirting. Personally, I think flirting is healthy. Very healthy in fact. It's just wrong to shy away from your sexuality. Sooner or later you're going to have to face it. So, why not sooner rather than later? I love flirting. I'm not saying it's perfectly harmless, I'm just saying it's healthy. Sometimes, you flirt with someone and they read more into it than they should and that leads to a lot of problems. Others see it for what it is; playful teasing.

I once told a girlfriend of mine that the best way to make your man's parents like you is to treat his mum like your mum, but better of course. Continually praising her son and how she raised such a fine, young man. Mothers eat that stuff up. They always want a girl that worships the ground their boys walk on. With the father, I told her to be respectful and flirt a little. She was affronted by my suggestion. Why would I ask her to flirt with her future father-in-law? It's taboo...it's wrong. But it really isn't.

Let me explain the basics to you the same way I explained it to her. Every man comes with an ego. Whether he's 17 or 70, the constant factor is their incessant need to be praised. I've learned to appeal to that side of them. I understand because I have one too. I know how I'm ready to go an extra mile for someone that appeals to it. It's just common sense to do that when you meet with your man's father.

Flirting with him by saying something as harmless as commenting on the similarity between father and son in the looks department remembering to insinuate that you think he's the hottest man you've ever met. He already gets it, you think he was hot too in his hey day. You probably think he's still pretty good looking. That will blow some air into the hot air balloon that is his ego. How's that taboo? Paying him a compliment is wrong because he fathered your partner?

It works both ways too. As a man, meeting your woman's parents for the first time can be quite scary. You want them to approve of you. You also know that the weakest links are the mothers. You know you have to earn the father's respect. You have to make him feel it's okay to give his little girl to you and trust you to take good care of her. The mother can nag until the father drops his overprotective shell and gives his blessing to the union.

In this situation, to win over the mother, just appeal to her vanity. I'll give you a close example. I went shopping with mum two days ago. We entered this shop and we saw this beautiful bag. I already knew it was going to be expensive, so I kinda ignored it. Mum didn't though. She reached for it. The man came over. I introduced her to him and he was like he thought she was my older sister that she looks so much younger than someone he would expect to be my mum. Rounding up with how beautiful she is. If my mum was white, she would have been blushing something furious. Needless to say, she bought the bag.

He used his words to his advantage. But it was still flirting and completely harmless. Nothing to hang him for.

To be continued...