Dear Dairy! (A tiny peek into my muddled thoughts)

When I was a younger, my friends and I would fantasize about the kind of man we would end up with. I'm sure every girl does that at some point. I had read enough novels to blur the line between reality and fantasy. I cracked open my first novel at the age of 7 and I've created a sizeable dent in the lists of books published worldwide. Lol...I'm not just saying that I know that for a fact. I have over 2,500 ebooks and over 100 paperbacks. Now I'm not counting the books I occasionally lend from friends to read. You can assume I'm well-read and you won't be too far from the truth.

Even at the age of 13 I knew I wanted to help people with their relationships. I knew I wanted to help people recognize their one true love when they arrived. I wanted to heal and mend hearts. It is a passion of mine. Every time someone asks me for help concerning their relationships and when I succeed in fixing that relationship I feel a sense of accomplishment that I would probably never feel doing something else.

When I was asked what I wanted in my future man I would immediately answer TDHI&R (Tall, Dark, Handsome, Intelligent & Rich). As I grew, I realized that I didn't really care about the state of his bank account as long as he wasn't a lazy man and he was ambitious. The rest I could not let go of. I'm not petite, a shorter man wouldn't compliment me all that well. I would always feel huge. I'm not what you would call dark so I thought a darker man would compliment me better. Besides, I'm a huge fan of chocolate. If it's not dark, I feel cheated. There's no way I go for icecream and I see chocolate and vanilla and go for vanilla.

Handsome...lol...who actually prays for an ugly future partner? We all want a fine man/woman. I know I do. I have cute-guy radar. I can spot them the moment I enter a room. While I want a man that will take my breath away, I don't want one that I would call beautiful. A man like thay would be too vain and superfluous for me. Why do I care about Intelligence? I'm a very intelligent woman. I might not be a genius but I'm certainly not stupid either. I would want a man that can hold   intelligent conversations with me. A man that wouldn't bore me to death the very moment he opens his mouth. A man that would challenge my mental abilities. A man that would push me.

I know I said I don't care about the size of his pockets but trust me I wouldn't jump into the arms of a cab driver or butcher either. I want stability and security. I want my man to be able to be a man. I'm quite independent but I don't want to be the breadwinner. That's a man's job. Mine is just to help him out. If he's still climbing the ladder, I'm a patient woman. I'll wait for him. But he has to reach the top. I won't settle for less. I won't make him settle for less. I want a man that is confident enough to correct me when I'm wrong even if it would set me off.

8 years ago, I came up with 15 qualities for the perfect boyfriend. I never even got 5 qualities for Mr. Right. That's probably because he doesn't exist. I know it's like telling kids there's no Santa Claus or that there's no Superman. Lol...I believed in him until I was 15. I am that girl that believed my teddy could talk but only telepathically. I held conversations with my toys. I had imaginary friends. I believed everything I wanted to believe just because I could. But I never truly believed in Mr. Right. How can he be perfect when I'm so flawed? (isn't it easier to trust someone with flaws?!).

Just how many people are going to end up with the man or woman of their dreams. Honestly, I've dreamt about him often and I still don't know what he looks like. That's gotta be prove he doesn't exist. The one we spend a lifetime with is always the next best thing. Not perfect but just right. Just right never hurt anybody.

Lol...sometimes I go on and on and I forget what or why I'm talking about something. Does anybody dream as much as I do? Are there still FantasyLand dwellers among mankind? Sigh.