The Heart Was Made To Be Broken! - Oscar Wilde

I have always wondered what this quote means. I always wondered what would have made a married man with children say (or in this case, write) such a thing. I went on to do a little research on the man. I figured the quote was probably an excerpt from one of his manuscripts or that he said (or wrote) it while in prison and pondering the desertion of his lover Douglas. The man obviously had his issues judging by all the things he wrote and all that was written about him that I have been so unfortunate has to have read. I'm obviously talking about his latter work. His letters.

Putting my feelings aside about the kind of stuff this man has written. I kinda agree with some of what he has written and I really get the man. His quote that is the basis of my post is one of my favorites. "The heart was made to be broken". It really was/is. There is no way as a human you will not at some point have your heart broken. By your parents, your siblings, your friends or your partner/spouse. The heart was indeed made to be broken. Like death, heartbreak is inevitable.

When you think about the fact that sometimes heartbreak leads to a weak heart which can later result to death we get how serious a 'disease' it is. Various things lead to heartbreaks, the death of loved ones, divorce, an unfaithful partner, a break up, an abusive parent, an absent parent and so much more. If you escape one, you might not escape the other one. Every where you turn, people are hurting for one reason or the other. Some have money but just can't find love. Some have love but it's constantly abused or taking for granted. Some don't understand why they have an absentee father. So much hurt out in the world. Plenty suffer from heartbreak.

The heart was made to be broken. What a statement. We love with our heart. For so long I wondered how a heartbreak affects the heart. In theory, it is impossible for the heart to break. Man's mind houses emotions and science has made it clear that the mind is a part of the brain. Why do we refer to it has heartbreak then?  Why not try and connect it to our head or mind atleast? We can't! If you've ever suffered an heartbreak you would know why people think it's their heart literally breaking into two or into a million pieces.

You know the feeling don't you? You suddenly find it so very hard to breathe. Then there's this very sharp pain right in the left part of your chest, where the heart is said to be. It's like it has become twice as big and wants out of your chest, out of your body. And when the tears finally come, hot and bitter, you hold with one hand that part of you, hoping you can stop your heart from jumping right out. And with it comes the painful realization that for a while it's not going to be okay and it will take a while for you to recover from such a hard blow to your heart because that's how it feels like someone suddenly hit/struck your heart.

Is there any way to escape being heartbroken? Except you live as a cynic and sadist, I doubt it. We can't always have what we want. We can only hope that we find our way back from that kind of pain. So many of my favorite authors have compared heartbreak to what they think dying feels like. I agree with them because by that description, I know they have actually had their hearts trampled on before. A part of you dies when your heart breaks, so yes, it's like dying slowly. It's torture.

Since it cannot be avoided, man's best bet is to deal with it (in this context man refers to all human beings male and female). You can always make sure that heartbreaks don't define who you are. That they don't ruin you or mess with your pysche. When it comes to matters of the heart, caution is most definitely thrown to the winds. But then again, it isn't really love if you're not taking a risk. When you decide to love someone, to trust them enough to delude yourself into thinking that if you gave them a gun pointed directly at your heart and were told to fire they would miss (trust me they won't miss) you're taking a risk.

It is because we don't know the future that life is such a risk. Certainty would have made life so much more safer. But I'm yet to hear of a successful person that made it by playing safe. You can play it safe and enter into the worst relationship of your life and risk it all and end up with a blissful marriage. Most couples that have been married for a long time will confess to you that their spouses weren't their usual type as at the time they met. They just happened to take a risk with someone that wasn't their type and it paid off.

While I'm not saying that you should go out and hook up with someone that you wouldn't ever learn to love, I am saying that you should get rid of all and every safety net. It's not a risk if you have something in place to catch you incase you fall. You should let yourself fall and get back up. It's not a crime to fail. We can't all get it right the first time! How do you know they're not good enough for you if you don't give them a chance? How do you know you won't get that job if you don't go for the interview? 

Try it out. Take a risk. Love again. Trust again. Give it your all.

I guess this post is not only for you, but for me as well. I've got some more risk taking to do.

"Failure is an event, it has an end" - Bishop Abioye

Remember (like you could forget); the heart was made to be broken. If it gets broken, it's ok. It can be fixed. It might scar a little but that's ok too. Be bold enough to put it in a position where it stands the risk of being broken once in a while. It's good for you.

Adupeola cares.