Here's How I Spent My Easter

Apart from the fact that as at Good Friday I was just recovering from a week long bout of malaria, I was also having trouble staying awake (probably a side effect of the drugs I was ingesting). I wake up angry and cranky. It was best to let me wake up on my own because if I had help, the help automatically becomes my victim. I would wake and eat at odd hours of the day. I didn't bother to pretend I was on any diet regimen. I wasn't. Weight loss was the least on my mind.

Anyway, back to my story,  I woke up and settled down to eat at around 9:30 pm on Saturday when mum received a call. It was my uncle's wife calling to inform her that she thinks she might be going into labor (her husband traveled). Mum's a nurse so she told her how to check if the contractions were regular and then call her back. She did. She was going into labor. It was time. Hunger was immediately replaced with excitement and anxiety. I volunteered to go with mum so I could help take care of her toddler.

We got to her place and met my other uncle and his wife there. We packed up and set off for the hospital. It was like with every sound she made my uncle stepped on the accelerator a little harder. Her water broke just as she entered the hospital. After that, nothing. I guess we all assumed it would be a fast delivery. Although it wasn't slow, it wasn't fast either. I watched 3 other pregnant women enter that night. One was kept under observation. One was taken into the delivery room and the last was transferred to a General Hospital.

Did I mention how much I hate hospitals? I've shared so much I assumed I would have mentioned it at some point. Anyway, I really hate them. This one time I wanted to go see someone in UCH (it's a teaching hospital), not a patient though, a med student. I got lost and ended up in the A&E Unit (Accident and Emergency Unit). I got there just as they were rushing a victim of what had to have been a very ghastly accident. I saw all that blood and the state of that man and I went into shock. A nearby doctor actually had to take time out to see to it that I was okay. The only reason I came back to my senses so fast was because I didn't want him to take me into that place to be able to check me out properly. That scarred me a little.

I have known a lot of pregnant women in my life. But I have only seen them after they've delivered. I have never sat and waited for them to deliver. Two things I learned that night:

1. Giving birth is painful.

2. Men really owe us.

With every scream, I just kept telling myself that by the time I'm ready to start a family, I would have decided on a method that would free me from pain. I'm allergic to pain. I love babies. I hate pain. I don't even want to feel the contractions. I don't want to feel any pain. I've decided that the only way I would ever be ready for that is...see? I'm never going to be ready. I guess no woman ever is though. You hear it's painful but worth every pain. Did they say that during and through the pain?

I've tried so hard to not taint in my head what giving birth would be like but it happened anyway. I heard so many screams I started to shake and feel all weak and queasy. Some just cried out in immeasurable pain. Others were bargaining with the baby, pleading with it to just come out. A few got tired of pushing and begged that they let them rest and sleep a little. Of course their requests were rejected.

An hour passed. Then two. And then in the third hour, a few minutes past 12 midnight, it happened. The baby finally came out. And the mother's screams stopped. And then there was joy. The nurse came out and told us the good news and we were ecstatic. Calling the rest of the family. Letting them know we had a new addition. A bouncing baby boy. I guess he wanted to celebrate easter outside the belly too.

When we went in to check on the mother and the baby, I learned something else. Those women were right. It must really be worth it. Because she was so happy and from the way she was looking at him, you could tell she already loved him and that her love was unconditional. The pain of the recent past already forgotten. Only the present joy remained.

It must be the pain that makes a mother's love so strong and so binding. Looking down at that beautiful boy I made up my mind, I wanted one sometime in the future and I want to go through the natural process, pain and all. I want to feel what it's like to be a mother. I've been a girl, a lady and a woman, I would love to be a mother too. Only then would I be really fulfilled.

To all expectant mothers (already pregnant women), judging by what I heard, it hurts like hell. No wonder the Yorubas say at that point a woman is between life and death. She really is. But trust me, the pain passes and when you look at that bundle of joy you get at the end of all the pushing, you realize it was worth it.

To women that say they don't want children, as a liberal woman I respect your right to choose that. But I'll just say that you should make sure so you don't regret it when it's too late to have any.

To women that find it hard to conceive, take heart. The Lord is your strength. Put your trust in Him and you will not be ashamed. Very soon, He will give you your testimony.

To all mothers, I respect what you've done and what you're still doing. Bless you!