As The Year Draws Closer To An End...

It's that time of the year again. That time when we begin to look back at our past year. The time when we begin to evaluate our successes and our failures. The time to think about the ones we helped and the ones we hurt! We think about the things we should have done and the things we actually did. We wonder if things would have been different if we did things a little differently. We begin to anticipate the new year. We also begin to dread it. Next year must be better. It just as to. We forget that we can't change the past or predict the future.

This year, I surprised myself. I started a blog(with a little push from a dear friend), I kept at it even on days I would rather do anything else but write. I disciplined myself to write often, even when I didn't think I could produce a masterpiece. It really helped to have such wonderful readers though. I was inspired by so many other beautiful writers who took time out from their own writing to evaluate my writeups from time to time. I often found something to write about that actually helped people. I later realized that writing for my audience helped me more than it helped them. I became stronger and nicer. I shed a little bit of pride and I made dear friends. I made myself proud. I don't think I've ever stuck with something this long and I felt blessed and rewarded when people started trying to commission me to be a guest writer on their blogs and online magazines.

But, I also hurt people this past year. I hurt one person in particular I shouldn't have. You see, he was that dear friend that pushed me to start this blog. He knew me much better than I knew myself. He understood my mood swings and who I am underneath the cold facade that I sometimes put up. He broke all my defenses down a while ago. He was the closest thing I've ever had to a best friend. Being me, I just had to ruin a good thing. And I did. I lost a friend. And while it still hurts, I've become stronger as a result. I'm truly sorry for hurting him, but I don't regret it anymore. I've reached that point where I am no longer ruled by my losses. It's like John Maxwell says, "Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn..." and I've learned. A whole lot.

Dear readers, when you look back on the past year, don't dwell on your losses or failures. Doing that never truly changes anything. It just gives you a new handicap.  I want you to look back at the year and be grateful. You might have lost more than you won, it doesn't matter. What matters is that you learn from those losses. Now you know what not to do. Falling doesn't count as long as you rise again. Even my Bishop says it's scriptural to be defeated. He also says it's unscriptural to stay defeated. So, if you're still down, get up! You can do it. Never give up!

I've always seen a new year as being given a clean slate to start over. You get to do things differently this time around. It's a second chance to kick that habit, be a better person, help someone, etc. You get to start over. So forget all the past pains and hurt of 2014 and look forward to 2015. It's not easy, I know. But if you don't, you'll be ruled by them all through the new year. I'm not saying the past won't come back to haunt you, in most cases it does...but you can rise above it with dignity. Because you are no longer that person...you can and will be better. It takes courage to face your mistakes. If you look inward, I'm sure you have just enough courage.

One last thing, suicide isn't letting go, it's giving up. Only cowards resort to that. I know that seems mean, but I promise you that I'm not trying to be mean. I'm sure that anyone that has ever thought about or planned out a suicide and then refused to give up so easily agrees with me. It will surprise you the amount of people that have actually entertained the thought once or twice. They are better people today and much stronger because they determined not to take the cowardly way out. My people have a saying, "Iku ya ju esin lo..." meaning paraphrased, death is much faster than going through or dealing with shame. I disagree. That doesn't protect the people you're leaving behind. It leaves them vulnerable and hurt. It's also no guarantee that your death in itself won't be counted as shameful.

Our tears and trials make up our stories. If you give up too soon, you won't ever know how your story ends. No matter what you're going through, suicide is never the answer. Remember that, the next time that thought pops into your head.

We still have about 16 days left before the year ends...take the time to review the lessons you learned this year.

Again, thank you for being such wonderful readers. I won't stop thanking you. Infact, I promise to end every post from now till the end of the year with a thank you!

As always...

With Love,
Adupeola