Sometimes...it sucks!!!

Excerpt from the diary of a happily single black woman.

Sometimes, being single really sucks. I can't just give you the fun part and not let you in on my down times. Some days, all I see is happy couples or happy couples with kids. No kidding I want that stuff too and then some. I just don't have a time table for it. I'm a strong believer in God's time. I also believe that when the time is right the man of my dreams will sought me out. I'm willing to wait patiently till that day.

Don't get me wrong, I've had a couple of flings. Some I'm not so proud of but a girl must survive right? Lol...in the past, my go to guy would have been food. Lots of chocolate and double that amount in vodka. Then I reached this phase, the phase of healthy eating. One day, I just thought to myself, "if you ruin all your insides with vodka and your outsides with chocolates what's left for your husband and kids?" I swear that did it for me. I can honestly say now that I am now always sober (well, almost always).

I must admit that being sober made single life a but tougher until I broke loose of my insecurities and learned to love me. Any man I choose has to love me that very same way. He has to love my flaws, my good points, my highs and my lows. I am a very forgiving person, I need someone like that. I want to be with a man that will not only be my lover, but my bestfriend as well. Until I meet him, until he comes in search of his missing rib (me), I refuse to settle. I owe myself the chance to be with the best husband in the world and my kids the opportunity of having the greatest dad in the world. 

I know nobody's perfect. I just need him to be close and my love would make it perfect. See? It's not that I'm incapable of loving a man, I am. I just have to wait it out so I can sieve through the dirt for my gold. Until then, I'm embarking on a journey to find me. I plan on having so much fun on this journey and on my blue days, I'll just come on here and bitch about it to you guys. I'm sure letting it out like this would do wonders for me and for anyone in my shoes.

Okay, I'm certain tomorrow will be so much better. I've never been blue for more than 24 hours. I wonder what the new day will bring....