Korean Love!!!

I don't really know anything about their culture. From the movies I've watched though, I see that we have some things in common; like respecting the elderly, being polite to everyone, and other quite conservative ideals especially when it comes to relationships between the opposite sexes.

I know that not everybody conforms to what society believes is right. I'm guilty of that as well. In my immediate society, a woman is given as much freedom as a man but yet she's still challenged at every point. She's expected to be humble and agreeable. I am none of that (although I'm working hard to shed my pride). I am outspoken (especially when people are being cheated) and I never notice when I switch from bold and blunt to saucy and rude. I've been told by many that my ego is a huge deal breaker. But, after faith in God, faith in my parents and siblings, all I've got left is faith in myself (and that's what most people call "ego").

I know at some point I'm going to have to let someone else in but I don't have that much courage right now. I've known God since I was born and my parents have been there for me through all the phases of my life. And my 2 siblings, they make me feel loved and needed.  I love them fiercely. I've often said I could kill for them and I can. How do I let someone else in? I haven't the faintest idea.

What is it about Korean love then? Lol...I know, I know I should learn to go straight to the point. Anyway, if you watch Korean movies too, I'm sure you'll know what I'm talking about. The way both parties work hard to earn each others trust. How if everything else is a lie, their feelings are always sincere. How for them its more than just being together, but growing together as well. How they will hurt themselves to heal the one they love.

How they make everything a big deal. First date, first hug, first kiss, etc and yet the fifth is still just as exciting as well. How the men are spontaneous and the women full of surprises. How not much matters but their love. The extent to which they believe in what they share. How they believe they can weather any storm as long as they're together. How their happiness bubbles up from within. How being apart tears them apart and being together heals them.

Despite my cold facade, I happen to be a very sensitive person (I recently learned it was a defense mechanism), their movies bring me to tears. And through the tears, I hear myself say out loud repeatedly,  "Fuck!!! I want that. Why can't I have that?" Lol...but seriously, I want a man that will cry if I leave him. One that will fight to keep me by his side. One that will love me because I'm an awesome person and not because he thinks being with me will grant him full access to my body.

A man that will challenge himself to bring a smile to my face everyday for the rest of my life. A man that I can actually break down my walls and cry in front of. A man that will hug me tight and comfort me on those days when I'm down and I say I'm fine but I'm really not. A man that will make me top priority. A man that inspires love in my heart. A man that earns my trust and never betrays it. A man that understands me and knows that sometimes I get in my own way and still loves me.

A man that lists my flaws as reasons why he loves me. A man that appreciates me and actually listens to me and cherishes my advices. A man that cares what I think. A man that wants to build his life with and around me. A man who I can fall in love with over and over again till the day I die. A man that loves my family just as much as he loves me. A man that would be wonderful father to my children and a fantastic husband to me.

A man that I will love so much I would learn to drop the reins and just let him lead me. A man that helps me to become a better person. A man that even on my bad days can still look at me and have nothing but love in his heart for me. A man that's a perfect gentleman and treats me like a queen. A man that is completely male and yet so.... (out of adjectives o).

Lol...I know what I want is a fairytale. But a girl can dream can't she?

Guess I'm showing the romantic side of me today. My head is perpetually in the clouds. I think I'm more in love with the idea of love than love itself. I don't know. What I do know is that I want happily ever after! And I'm ready to wait for as long as it takes to get it. NO SETTLING!!!