Back on Track!

2017 was also the year I joined the #pfyfschallenge (Pray For Your Future Spouse) by Jamal & Natasha Miller for the first time. I think that was its year of inception as well. I can't even tell you how I discovered their ministry. Through them, I discovered Pastor Jerry Flowers. The challenge didn't just focus on the spouse you were praying for. It dealt with you as well. Even though depression was no longer a baggage of mine, I still had other baggage to get rid of. I had people hurt, love hurt, authority figures hurt & church hurt. I was nowhere ready to be anyone's spouse. 

Shiloh 2017, I asked God what He'd like for my Shiloh sacrifice. I'd never participated. I just gave randomly when the time came. I started asking Him in November and He didn't tell me until the day before we were to drop it. Lol. He wanted me to be in or out. No in-between. I gave my phone to my brother and told him to sell it. I told him I didn't care about the amount. Just collect whatever amount you're offered. If that's what He wanted me to lay down, I was ready to. 

Up until then, I called that particular phone my boyfriend. I loved it. It made sense for that to be my Isaac. I laid my sacrifice down and asked God 3 questions:

1. Should I leave Mr.O for good?

2. What unit should I join? Where would my gifts be most useful for the advancement of Your kingdom?

3. What project should I embark on since I'm leaving everything else behind?

He answered the first 2 questions immediately. So, I left my epileptic relationship and joined the children & teens department of my church in January 2018. That was also the first year I started and completed the 21 days fasting program in January (it's become a part of me now). I love children. It made my work in the department delightful for me. I only really cared about doing my work unto the Lord. I was focused on pleasing Him.

A little further into the year, He answered my third question, and Catch Them Young was born. It was hard for me to start. I was used to fear causing me to let go of my ideas and dreams. Thankfully, I mentioned it to Timi and he pushed me right into it. I am so glad he's a part of my life's journey. It peaked in June. I loved doing the work and the inner city kids we worked with loved it too. At that point, I started to ask God for a clearer understanding of what my purpose is. I sensed it was related to what I was already doing but I wanted clarity. 

During this season, dating was the last thing on my mind. After I left my relationship for real, I became numb. No man could pull down my walls. I was wary of every single one that approached me. Lol...I lost track of all the excuses I gave Timi for saying no. I used, "His house is too far" "I don't like his surname", and "He cries a lot, he will beat me". I preferred men who just wanted to talk. The moment they asked for more, I bailed. Despite all of that, I joined #pfyfs2018 and continued to study, read and listen to the teachers God directed me to. 

Because what God said kept running through my mind, I decided to help God. I felt I was disobeying Him by rejecting every man that came my way. So, I made up my mind I would start dating again. If only casually. Sigh...

To be continued...