The Beginning...

 I wasn't sure if I should write about this. Every time it came up, I waved it off. It was (& still is) personal to me. It made me realize that as much as I thought I wrote about everything, I was no longer comfortable being as vulnerable as when I was younger. Lol! It's funny because when I was a pre-teen and a teen, I was as closed off as a clam. I only told you what I wanted you to know. When I entered my adolescent years, I became more open (too open if you asked me). I have since slipped back into my default setting. I  believe that this is who I truly am. I am a woman who seeks to keep certain things hidden from the outside world.

After thinking about it for so long, I concluded that I had to, in fact, write about it. So, here I am doing just that. To effectively tell this story the way it deserves to be told and truly help you understand the journey that began 5 years ago. We will take a little trip down memory lane. By the way, I started a podcast. Since I couldn't figure out what I would talk about on it, I assumed I would start with this. But, I can be such a scatterbrain when talking without structure, and writing has always been the best release for me. So, since I had recently resurrected the blog, I decided to just go for it!

This story started in June 2017. I know I wrote a bit about it on IG at the time. I spoke on it as it pertained to other things in that season of my life. I didn't mention all that God said to me back then because I didn't think it was the right time. I was still figuring it out. That month, God told me to give Him the month of June. I didn't know how else to do that but by fasting. So, all through June 2017, I waited on Him. It was a wonderful experience. I don't know what I was expecting, but I just did it because He asked me to. Coincidentally, that month, the first hallelujah challenge took place. I joined in. I just wanted to maximize the entire spiritual exercise as much as I could.

At the end of that month, God told me 3 things: "Meditate on Isaiah 43:18-19", "I am doing a new thing" & "You are getting married". Of all He said to me, the last one puzzled me. I was in what, at best, I would call a situationship. Lol, don't ask me what I'd call it at worst. I had just gotten out of a 'thing'. Quite frankly, my love life was a hot mess. Not only was that the furthest thing from my mind, I had gotten to the point that the word made me queasy. I had heard and read so many messed up stories, I wanted to get as far away from the institution as possible. On the other hand, I was in love with love. I wanted love I  just no longer thought it had to culminate in marriage. That very notion was laid to rest towards the end of 2016.   

On top of that, up until that moment, my relationship track record was 5 hours for shortest. The longest lasted for 2 years and was on & off. That was why I was in a situationship and just getting out of a thing at the time (its weird calling 2 months a relationship. I'm sticking with thing). For all of these reasons, I decided that I heard wrong and focused on the remaining two things He had said. From time to time, it would come to mind and I would brush it off. I had almost succeeded when papa announced the theme for Shiloh 2017 in October. He said it was a new dawn. The anchor scripture was Isaiah 43:18-19. He said it was a mountain of new beginnings and that God was opening up new chapters. I listened to him and kept saying to myself, "Omo, I heard what I heard. He's (God) serious about this."

To be continued...