Love At First Sight; Myth or Fact??

The french call it "coup de foudre...". This french expression has a literal and figurative meaning. Literally, it means a bolt of lightning. Figuratively, it means love at first sight. Having read quotes from a good number of authors claiming love at first sight hits you like a bolt of lightning, I think both meanings suit the expression quite well. Now, before I go on, I must remind you all that I am not in the least bit cynical(atleast I would like to think that I'm not). I believe in love. I believe in it's power. I believe in it's potency. I believe it disproves logical explanations. I believe it has a little magic in it. I believe in everything I've heard about love. Deeply. Completely. Utterly. I just don't believe in love at first sight(a girl has got to draw a line somewhere). Nothing short of a personal experience will make me believe in love at first sight.

I know for a fact that what most people refer to as love at first sight is lust. At the very least it's a serious bout of infatuation. But I would always bet good money on lust. Love is so much more than physical attributes. It isn't shallow. How can you take a look at someone and just fall in love? I won't even point out the fact that one shouldn't 'fall in' but 'grow in' love. I get it when it happens that way in fairy tales. I get it in romantic novels as well. I even get it in movies. Those are all fantasy involved. They aren't even a little bit realistic. Most love stories aren't(not disputing the fact that there are some real-life extraordinary love stories). If I ever wrote a book, the hero would die. If he didn't die, he and the heroine would never end up together. In my books, good wouldn't always triumph evil. Why? Because it just doesn't  always happen that way in reality. Before you tag me a pessimist, let me just go on and say that I'm a realist. That means, I expect more than a couple of thorns in my bed of roses.

Love at first sight...how can you love someone you don't even know? And please do not say souls just connect. I seriously doubt that. Love is hard work. It isn't simple. It's preservation takes two people working very hard to nurture it. Now, if you said you fell in love instantly with a dress or a car, I wouldn't fault you. But, another human? How much do you really know about that friend you've known since you were a child? People have hidden layers. You only see what they want you to. Real love makes the journey to knowing that other person exciting. You know you can handle whatever they throw your way. I've never been a fan of whirlwind romances. I mean, how am I supposed to decide that I want to spend the rest of my life with you in all of three months? I'm a very particular person and my tolerance level is very low. While I might have to learn to work on that, I still wouldn't want to bind myself to someone that oozes spit while talking, sleeps with his mouth open, throws temper tantrums, raises his voice at the slightest provocation, and that's just naming a few. I wouldn't want to be with a man that I didn't know a little. A man that I can't predict a couple of his answers.

What most people don't know is that an infatuation can last for as long as 2 years(yes, psychologically proven). How do you know it's not just infatuation? If you've ever experienced what many call 'love at first sight' you'll realize that it comes with an obsessive tug. Not acute enough to be a cause of alarm but not totally harmless either. Thinking about them all the time. Making stupid decisions(which you also know to be stupid) just to please them. Being reckless and too carefree. You do just about anything and everything for them and you remain completely blind to certain flaws. During that period, you suffer from selective blindness and deafness. Love doesn't come easy. Good things never do.

Even when the euphoria fades, love stays. If it isn't really love, then you're in trouble. Because no matter what you do you'll be unhappy. I'm not saying that you're never unhappy when it's love. Sometimes you are, but it's easier to climb out of that hole. I have often told friends that if you are in a relationship where you never have an argument with your partner, it means you're not really connecting. There's no way two people from different backgrounds will come together and not have differences. Even if they are just small ones. Why would you have to work for everything in life and expect love to come easy? Love isn't a reward. If you want it, you have to work for it.

Love at first sight, is it a myth or a fact? Lol...I'd like to think I retained a few skills in communication studies enough to not actually answer the question but at the same time let you know how I feel about the topic. I believe it's a question that should be thrown open. Within reason, I might be forced to swallow my words, but only within reason.

What do you think? Myth? Fact?

Adupeola

First published...11/16/2014

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