Who Should Say, "I Love You" First? - 2

In my last post, I answered the first part of the question by stating that in my opinion it doesn't and should not matter who says "I love you" first. Women are more in tune with their emotions so it would make sense if they said it first. But then again, my last beau claimed to have loved me from the first moment he set his eyes on me! So, either gender can say it first.

Now for the second part of the question. Can professing your love first turn a casual relationship into a serious one? Hmm...this is my question; if you wanted a serious relationship, why the hell did you settle for a casual one? I understand that so many times people opt for causal relationships but not everyone can handle that. No matter how casual it is, one party is bound to get hurt and that's almost always the female.

If you feel you can handle a casual relationship, go for it. Just don't let it drag on for too long or you'll start to catch feelings. Do not get stuck in that kinda web. Yes, I have heard stories and even witnessed exceptional cases where causal relationships evolved into serious ones. But we can't all be exceptional cases or we would be called the norm. So...don't play casual if you're a serious person.

Why would you even think professing love to a man would evolve your relationship? We're in a generation where you can have 3 kids for a man and still never have his heart. Even the latest frenzy in our society should have clued you in on that. There are more baby mamas than wives right now. And even some that are now wives are still baby mamas to another man.

Lol...can't you see that love is indeed overrated? What if you tell him that you love him and he laughs? You might assume he's pleased and joyous with the news. He might even say he loves you too. What if he means he loves having sex with you? Or that he loves hanging out with you(I fucking hate that expression...hanging out...hooking up)? What if he's too lazy to go in search of a woman and needs a John the Baptist before he meets his Jesus?

Men know we like to hear sweet words. We're moved by what we hear and so they feed it to us. Very few men have the integrity to be completely honest. How will you know if he's being honest? Will you hook him up to a lie detector?

Can you see now that the older generation were right when they said we should always let the man lead or direct the pace of the relationship? You should never invest more than he does. Make it equal...less even. If you're in a causal relationship...do not act like a girlfriend...you're not one. And if you're a girlfriend, do not act like a wife...you're not one. There's still ample time for him to change his mind. Afterall, after the marriage...so many still opt for divorces.

I'm sorry if I'm coming across as a bit harsh in this post. But, I feel tough love is the best in situations like this. If you catch feelings for the wrong person, you will regret it for a long time. He's a man. Talk to him. Ask him to define the relationship(if he even thinks you have a relationship). Do not worry on your own. If it's a dead-end deal(because I seriously doubt you have a relationship) cut your losses and get out.

A man knows what he wants. If he doesn't know, he's either still immature or he's leading you on....either way, you should get out. Seems like a potential toxic relationship to me. The more you cling, the harder he runs. Sometimes we only ever want things that are bad for us while ignoring the things that we need that are amazing for us.

I have more to say...and I have so many more questions for you. But I think, this is as public as it should go...let's handle the rest in private.

Let's get heart-smart ladies...okay?

I hope anyone else in this kind of situation gleaned a little from this.

Adupeola

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