"Why Are You Still Single?"

Lol...if I had $50 for everytime I've been asked that question ehn...I would be the proud owner of the Indian Ocean(given the current ratio of dollar-naira and assuming they let me pay in naira and the fact that the Indian Ocean might actually be for sale)! I get the rationale behind the question. Sometimes I ask myself the very same thing too. How can I confidently and successfully(mostly) solve other people's relationship issues and still be single myself?

The answer is quite simple. Well, maybe not overly simple since I've got more than one answer to the question. The fact is I am a woman of contradictory personality traits. These contradictory traits affect everything I do. That's why it might surprise some that I am just as practical as I am idealistic. My practicality helps me out in my choosen niche and path in life. And my idealism is the reason why nothing less than perfect is forgivable by me. That's why forgiving myself is like attempting to climb the highest mountain (keep in my mind that I'm not athletic).

I've had an image since I was 7 of how the perfect, imperfect relationship should be. I've had wonderful examples to shape that image from. On that point, I do not want to settle just because of society's pressure. I intend to wait patiently for God's best. In the end, I trust his choice more than I would trust mine. I tend to make bad choices. See, why I'm leaving the most important decision of my life to Him? He wants the best for me as well. And He understands how this choice can affect everything I do.

Secondly, I have dreams and goals and I'm scared that getting involved too fast might way lay all that. What if he doesn't support my dreams? Isn't it better for me to be actively involved in those dreams before I decide to fully commit to someone? That way, he has and idea of where I see myself going and if he didn't see himself supporting me and encouraging me, he wouldn't have gotten involved with me. I want a man that's willing to go the distance with me. A man that's secure enough in his manliness not to feel intimidated or insecure with my ambitions. I learned a long time ago that men that complain about opinionated women are just scared of such women because they'll expect them to hold their own as men.

Also, my loner status as been called into question. Does that make being single a bit harder? Sometimes...yes. There are certain days that I crave companionship...especially that of a partner but I make do with the fact that when Prince Charming finally arrives, he'll make up for all those days I needed him the most. I intend to make sure that he does...😆😆😆 honestly though, I've always enjoyed my own company. And I believe that there comes a time in everyone's life that we have to go a certain way on our journey alone. We need to embrace that season.

Looking back now, I realize that I've never had a serious relationship. That can also be attributed to my commitment and trust issues and certain other flaws of mine (nobody's perfect). I must admit now with the rate of unimaginable atrocities being done by lover against lover, I'm scared out of my mind about getting involved. I'm working on my paranoia. I'm also working on my selfish tendencies and overbearing attitudes in preparation (one mustn't stop working on oneself afterall).

I hope that answers that question. I hope no reader asks me that again. And I promise (even though I'm a very private person), the moment Prince Charming arrives, I'll introduce him to the world, mind you, not immediately but at the right time. Be patient with me and don't start thinking that will be anytime soon o😜 I'm perfectly content as I am now.

We're in the season of love my dearies. Let's show love to others and to ourselves. Take good care of your partners and if you're flying solo, pamper you. You don't need someone else to do that. People tend to treat us the way we treat ourselves. So start treating yourself as a priceless jewel. You're beautifully and wonderfully made.

And ofcourse I love you too....

Adupeola