A Good Old-Fashioned Adupeola Rant(Lol...I couldn't help myself o)

Sigh...I already know before writing this post that some of my male friends will say, "this girl has started again with her feminist rants". I can't help it this time though. You know I don't always comment about everything I see but this is something that somewhat troubles me. I had no choice guys. Forgive me in advance, okay? I like to think that Africa has made major progress in the fight for gender equality. Infact, I can even call them giant strides. When I look back down the history of feminism in Africa(through books, articles and the general happenings nowadays), I feel empowered and proud of this great continent. I feel we have achieved a whole lot in a short period of time.

That said, I feel like I have to state upfront that this post is not to complain about the way some men take advantage of a submissive woman. It is not to nag about the way some men feel it is appropriate to tell a woman they only just met how her picture alone makes them horny and then go on to show proof(in the form of a picture) of this physical state. It is not to state how maddening it is that some men don't agree some topics just don't make the cut for proper conversation etiquette. It is not to proclaim my  anger at the way some men act out when women choose to ignore them when they are being rude or refuse to reply to their lewd comments or suggestions. It is not to state how annoying it is when some men don't understand the importance of respecting a woman's personal boundaries. It is not to proclaim my righteous anger at the fact that some evil men still rape, abuse and demean women.

No, this post is not to address any of that. Although I truly wish that the perpetrators of the above crimes correct themselves. Yes, I am a feminist and I have some feminist views. No, I am not a die-hard feminist. I am not cynical either. I am well-balanced. It's okay for a woman to not be a feminist, as a feminist you shouldn't judge or criticize her. It is her choice and isn't feminism all about women having the right to make their own choices in the first place? The sisterhood(lol...sounds like a cult when you say it out loud) should be all about women sticking together. Women having each other's backs! This would even make it a bit harder for the other gender to victimize us.

I believe a woman should be a woman and a man should be a man. I believe feminism is all about a woman fulfilling her role as a woman to the best of her abilities. I don't have a problem with a woman submitting to her man as long as she's clear on the fact that she only has to be submissive to HER MAN(submission is strength wrapped in meekness). As much as I would want the right to make decisions in my home, I do not want to be the head of the family. That is a man's job. That is HIS job. The fact that we both wear pants(trousers) shouldn't change the roles we play. The man has authority and the woman has influence. But I digress(I tend to do that often).

This post was influenced by my nocturnal activity yesterday night. I sleep late and usually I keep myself busy with previously recorded or downloaded series. Yesterday though, I decided to change things a bit. I decided to watch music videos,  most of which were African. I feel at this point that I should emphasize that this post is about Africa, particularly Naija(Nigeria). Alright then, let's move along. Is it just me or has anybody noticed that music videos are getting more risqué by the day. I mean, it's just...blaa...I am a liberal soul...really. Very little rubs me the wrong way. I respect a woman's right to bare it all or dress any which way she wants and not be judged for it. It is her prerogative. I also believe that despite the way she dresses or what she does, she deserves my and your respect.

These music videos portray women as sex objects though and then the lyrics are laced with sexual innuendos and remarks about what he's going to do with her or to her. I know I should quote a few lyrics to make my point but I have tried really hard to keep my blog clean(because I have a potty mouth) and I refuse to ruin all that hard work now. I have often wondered how they recruit the women that dance or feature in music videos.  Do they just place adverts that say... (little in the middle and gotta a huge back?) Or do they have a picture of a model that has the type of body type they want and then say, "if your body looks like this, apply to this organization for a chance to feature in a music video with a celebrated artist"? It has to go something like that right?

That aside, I also wonder if the kind of women a particular artist uses portrays his taste in women or if they just use women that can leave both men and women in openmouthed shock? I mean, I know for a fact that I'm straight and yet that doesn't stop me from arguing with my friend and my mum about one of such girls in a video we recently watched. Our bone of contention? Is her a** real? I couldn't believe such a humongous booty could be real. And yet, I kept going back to it again and again and my mouth just refused to close. I know I said I wouldn't illustrate with examples but at this point I feel like I have to. Take Kiss Daniel for example, in Woju, he used a girl with an average body type, in Laye, he used a skinny lady, in Molue, he used a thick lady. Is he confused and still trying to figure out the kind of girl he likes or he likes ALL girls?

Yes, yes I'm glad African men still love thick women because real men eat meat right? Lol...no...because women should be made to feel beautiful no matter their size. I know self worth should come from within but a bit comes from without as well. This is why women go on fad diets,  starve themselves, wear padded bras, corsets, butt lifts and pads. It's like the whole world has gone plastic/artificial but I never thought I would see the day, Africa- Nigeria, would follow suit. It's truly sad.

When last did you hear a song that celebrated a woman's beauty within and without? That celebrated her as an intellectual, a pillar of strength, her character, her accomplishments, etc. instead it's all about her body and how it makes men feel. She is reduced to a sex object. I know some women relish the idea of being sex objects. It gives them a sense of misplaced power. But what happens after beauty fades and gravity kicks in? What then? I know most men wouldn't like it if their daughters were objectified the way they objectify women. What amazes me the most is that in most of these videos the man might wear 3 or 4 pieces of clothing and the women will be scantily clad and half naked. Lol...we now live in a world where men are more modest than women. Is that a win or lose for feminism though? I wonder.

I am aware that sex sells music. Sex sells a lot of things nowadays. Because of this, nothing will change. But it wouldn't hurt for a song that celebrates women and all that they are to be written occasionally. Would it? Afterall we have to think about the next generation. What example or legacies are we leaving behind for them?

This is the end of my rant(as I'm sure some of my closest male friends would tag it...lol).