My Crush - 2

Have I mentioned everything wrong with my crush? I mean the man in question. He isn't alpha male cute he just has arresting features. He's not tall but of average height. He isn't built like a sport adonis, but he looks pretty fit. It's not so much how he looks but the way he carries himself. He doesn't bounce like an immature male uncertain of what life has in stock for him. He doesn't walk lopsidedly like his world is full of imbalance. He walks straight and tall. He has the stride of a confident man. The man who knows he has the ability to conquer whatever life throws his way. He smiles often and I swear that his smile brightens up a room.

So, who do you think I saw in church? Lol...him. Him whose name I don't even know. Him who makes my heart beat a little faster.  Him who draws me like a magnet draws metal. Sigh. I've got it bad people. Real bad. But that's a good thing.The thing is I don't really want him to know about my feelings. I'm perfectly alright with loving him from afar. I'm scared that if I get to know him, I would be disappointed. I don't want that. I just want to keep this crush alive for as long as I can.

It feels pretty good that the object of my crush is quite accomplished in his own right. It proves that I have grown over the years. It also signifies that I am a step closer to knowing what I truly want in a man. This crush goes further than how he looks. It's the very essence of the man himself. His face isn't quite hard. It's soft. He has crinkles in all the right places. He smiles often. Mum once told me that a person who smiles often probably had a happy childhood. That must mean he's probably well balanced emotionally, right?

This is why I don't want my crush to be more than a fantasy. I don't ever want to find out that he's less than perfect. I know no man is perfect, but in my head he is. I don't want to ever discover that flaw he has. I want him to remain the man of my dreams. He'll probably never be the stick by which I measure my future man by, but he'll remain a fond memory. I'm in a single phase right now. I recently learned that most singles have imaginary partners. I wouldn't go that far. But, he makes it so hard for me to even want to be in a relationship with anyone. Not because I want to ever be with him, but because I just want to enjoy this feeling a bit more. There's nothing as wonderful as loving someone and not expecting anything from them. They can't disappoint you that way.

Following the opening sequence of this article, a reader asked me if I would ever take the bold step of finding out his name and actually having a real conversation with my crush(that is, one that doesn't involve a lie). I will answer that question now; yes. I am not cowardly. And although I'm shy, I still manage to make new friends. If our paths ever cross on a neutral ground, I'll go for it. Have a sensible and intelligent conversation with the man of my dreams. I don't want him though(I know that for a fact) and so the zeal to actually be available isn't there.

Men have crushes, women do as well. Sometimes, a crush turns into something more. Other times, it just fades away. A crush is first of all, a one-sided love. It should never be treated as anything more. You should never hold it against your crush if they never figure out your feelings or reciprocate. Well, there you have it. I'll let you know if there are any new developments in the future.

Thanks for reading!!!

Adupeola cares