The Fear of Growing Up

Scientists call it, "gerascophobia". 2 years ago, I shared a story about how I had to fill a form online. At the time, I had convinced myself I was 21. It was so convincing that I had actually been telling people that age. In the process of filling up the form, the computer calculated my age and told me I was 23. I proceeded to argue with the computer. Even going as far as refreshing the page and starting the registration all over again. I finally whipped out my phone and decided to calculate my age because obviously that computer had a grudge against me. Lo and behold, my phone also told me I was 23. Still in denial, I called up my mum and asked her how old I was. Her reply was, "Ayo, so gbadun daada bayi?" (Ayo, are you well?) And she hung up.

I had just recieved quite the shock. Despite my living in chronic denial, I still continued to grow. Time continued to pass. I continued to age. Every year, I'm thankful for the gift of life. I'm thankful that even though I'm not where I want to be, I'm far from where I used to be. So, it's not that I'm not grateful. I just wish my next birthday would come by a little bit later. 3 years ago, I didn't even remember it was my birthday. I went out without my phone and I didn't realize until I kept it on at the end of my day, that I had added a new age. What brought about this today? I'll tell you...

My 25th is gradually creeping up on me. 25...that's a quarter of a century. I have 5 more years until 30! Looking at it retrospectively, I have always been afraid of clocking 30. I fear ending up like some people around me. I fear being 30 and irresponsible. I fear being 30 and being broke. I fear being 30 and still going about life with a trial and error mentality. Okay...you might say that I'm about to be 25 and I'm already none of these things that I'm so afraid of becoming. You would be right. But I've chosen to see this as an healthy fear.

To make the thought of growing up a little bit easier for me to swallow, I have decided to make my 25th my new beginning. I still have 5 years before I'm 30. I intend to make the best of it. Why am I doing this publicly? Because, I want you (my audience), to hold me accountable. So, here are my plans for the next 5 years:

1. Build up my career as a writer (seriously this time...not only when I need quick cash).

2. Continue to work on self-development. Academically, morally, physically and spiritually.

3. Make a list of everything I should have done in my early 20s and do it all before my 30th birthday (I probably shouldn't wait till I'm too old and I get criticized).

4. Have more fun. Loosen up and just enjoy life daily.

5. Make money.

6. Make more money.

7. Make some more money.

8. Settle down.

9. Have a kid or two.

10. Accept the big 30 and age gracefully.

I'll be counting on you to keep me on track. Thank you for always going along with me on every of my crazy journeys. This one isn't crazy...but because of No. 3 & 4, we can't assume crazy still won't make an appearance.

Happy Sunday! Have a wonderful new week...!

Adupeola