What's all the hullabaloo about sef?

I know love takes a bit of work to keep. My question is, should it (love) hurt? I always believed that love that hurt was toxic; obsessive, dependent and parasitic love was what came to mind when I thought about love that hurt it's participants. Who knew indifferent love, one-sided love also fit in this category? Like seriously, what's the worst kind of abuse one can experience in a relationship? Is it physical abuse, verbal abuse, emotional abuse or psychological abuse? Are they at the same level or are they simply a variance of each other like the Egba dialect is a variance of the Yoruba language?

Sometimes I wonder, are some just luckier in this game than others? Were some just destined to not have to struggle in this aspect of their lives? And the ones that suffer, what exactly did they do wrong? Again, how does one treat a cold and jaded heart? Can it thaw and one day heal or is it ever destined to find little satisfaction in this aspect of life? I never liked Romeo and Juliet(there, I finally said it). I never truly got it. What kind of love was so grand that they could both die for? I also don't get why it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all (many apologies to the diehard fans of Shakespeare).

One would think it would have been so much better to have never loved at all than to love and then lose it. You can't miss what you never had...you only miss what you've once had. Why is love so important anyway. Isn't it a bit overrated? We hear songs about it every day. We watch romantic comedies with happily ever after endings. Real life is hardly ever like that. The truth is, reality is too harsh to be shown for pleasurable consumption.

Yes...life is a bit more pleasant with love and if you don't have to travel the journey of life solo. But, I strongly believe it's not a big deal to be single either. Why do Africans make a humongous deal out of a woman wanting to stay single? Wait...before you answer that question, let me let you know that I've heard it all before. To me, it's not a big deal. What if she had decided to be a nun, wouldn't we have accepted that? Why is it that in a family gathering the most common question thrown the way of a single girl of marriageable age is, "Do you now have someone?" "When are we coming to do your own o?" "Your own will be next, just continue to pray...we're praying too!" I really don't get that.

Is that all we're supposed to attain to? Is that the only true commendable feat of a woman? Are we still in the archaic ages? Some women don't even aspire to get married. For some of them it's if it happens, fine...if it doesn't fine. The second worst thing is that they expect you to be envious of people getting married...lol...even the women getting married want you to be envious so bad. It's like they need your envy to be sure they took the right step...

I am not against marriage or love. I am not even a true cynic. At best I can only say my feelings about this 2 subjects conflict from time to time. I know I do not have 'the gift'. I want all that too if God wills it for me...but it's not at the top of my priority list and I do not understand why when I say that, people act like I've just blasphemed. Yes, I advice people on love, relationships and matters of the heart.. that is the niche I have created for myself. One that I'm fucking (pardon my french) good at even if I do say so myself! I understand that just because something is not overly important to me doesn't mean it's not the priority or one of the top priorities of another.

To others, the things that are important to me are not so important to them. That's life...fingers aren't equal! I was still telling a friend of mine not too long ago that I'm not completely against having a relationship if the guy is not in a hurry to get married. I want to play. I want to enjoy a true relationship. I never really had one. So...I'm not sure I want to just date and then get married all in a few months. I want time to explore and be explored (no pun intended).

I'm still young at heart and I want someone who can successfully bring out my inner child. Life has slung a lot of mud my way and I want somebody who's ready to not pressure me into more than what am ready for. I want a King-in-waiting. But seriously why do we make marriage the be all and end all? To hide not achieving the dreams they once had, they start of by announcing they're now married. There's so much more to your lives and I know it.

I'm pro-marriage o! I'm not against being single by choice either. I'm a liberal soul.

Lol...I know...I wonder why I brought the blog out of hibernation only to rant as well. I'll make sense to some and many will think I've come with my nonsense again. No vex! E get as e be this morning.

Have a wonderful weekend dearies!!!