For The Men (Edited)

A while back, I was chatting with one of my beloved readers. Funny enough, he was male (never thought I had male readers, I just kept hoping that I did). Anyway, according to him, he was a fan of ‘Share it with Dupe’ and read every article I had ever posted (great, huh?). Then he dropped the question – would you describe yourself as a feminist or an embittered woman?

The question came as quite a shock to me. I never realized my posts had me coming off as a feminist or an embittered woman. My objective has always been to help make your relationships better, help you realize if you are with the right person and encourage you so you don't give up on love. I admit that I have always given the women preference but that's only because they need this stuff more.

That aside, if one was to try to get to the root of bad relationships; women hurting men or getting heartbroken themselves, you find that all these reactions started with the action of one man. Yes, I am saying you (men) are even responsible for what you term ‘hoes’. The thing is every human is different. The way one would react to a psychological/emotional trauma is different from the way another will. One woman might take heartbreak in stride and just move on with her life. Another would remain bitter, distrust men and might even become estranged from the male race and refuse to have the smallest level of contact (friendship) with them!

Before I go any further, I would like to answer the question (although I already replied him, I want to answer on here as well for the benefit of every other reader that might have the same question).Adupeola is neither a feminist nor an embittered woman. Kindly pay no attention to my relationship status. It does not define me in any way. It is merely a choice.

For some reason (which I cannot very well put a finger on either), I happen to be very good at what I do. I have always helped my friends out with their relationship hiccups with awesome results(some are happily married now) and if you have used or followed any of my methods appropriately, you should be able to testify to that as well. After all, some of the best relationship experts of our time are either single or divorced. The likes of Michelle Hammond (single), Dr. Phil (divorced) and so on. Now, now, I'm not comparing myself to these awesome people (I'm not egoistic, at least not that much) I'm just saying ignore my relationship status and pick what you need.

To my male readers, I am so glad I have you and I do not want to lose you but at the same time, I have to be honest and do right by my conscience. You men treat women whichever way you want.Forgetting that, if you do not end up spending the rest of your life with her and treat her right you are spoiling her for the next man. While it is possible that a faithful man still exists in this generation, many men have spoilt that notion for the women. At what point will a woman not feel like she has to stay with a man that is obviously wrong for her because she is scared that her next might be worse or non-existent?

I strongly believe that there are still good men out there. If something exists and is tagged ‘bad’ it is merely an indication that ‘good’ exists as well. If women everywhere were to come together today and refuse to settle, millions of men would go single. What would you do then? Apparently you cannot function or fully exist without us (God said that not me o). A recent study showed that it does not matter if a man is rich or poor, good-looking or not-so good-looking he can still treat his woman wrong or right. From this study, we understand that a man’s action towards his woman/women is a show of lack of or the presence of character and morals.

If only you were aware of how many women, you turned into alcoholics and drug users. If only you knew the number of women that developed suicidal tendencies. If only you knew the number of women suffering from chronic depression and are now referred to therapists (head shrinks) and prescription medications just to get through a day. If only you were aware of the fact that 95% of mental illnesses involving women is believed to be directly men-related while the other 5% is indirectly men-related. I happen to be aware of these facts and I am only trying to protect and warn my female readers.

Please understand that I'm not saying that women can do no wrong. I am merely informing you that she might act as if she is strong but that is all it is, an act. Women happen to be very fragile creatures and when you toy with them, it has strong negative effects on them. If you happen to be with a woman that still holds a grudge for a man that hurt her at a particular time in her life, you can actually be her redeeming feature. Treat her right, earn her trust, help her heal and show her by your actions that not all men are the same. I understand that women are drawn towards the ‘bad’. However, I believe that more and more women are starting to believe that a day with the wrong choice can cost them for a lifetime.

No matter what a woman does or who she is, you should respect her. If you are able to respect a woman that you believe is of incredibly low standards, respecting the woman in your life would be a piece of cake for you. If you see no future for you and a woman, do not string her along. Do right by her and cut her loose. You should always make your intentions very clear beyond reasonable doubt to a woman (no matter how nasty they may seem), so she does not picture up something else in her mind. Always make sure she gets what you want from her. When your intentions are very clear you can no longer be held responsible for any casualties.

Last, but certainly not the least, studies have shown that some men are sex addicts and that others are chronic cheats because they like the sense of adventure it gives them. In fact, some psychologists believe it is possible for one to love his/her partner and still cheat (although there is a double standard; men are expected to and women are not which I must say is certainly not very fair – okay maybe I’m a little feminist). Lol! I guess what I am saying is this – men, if you must cheat, DO NOT GET CAUGHT!

NOTE: I am not promoting cheating, unfaithfulness or dishonesty in any way. I am just following the saying, ‘what she does not know will not hurt her’. If you truly love her and care for her, you will never let her find out anything that might hurt her. The ‘do not get caught’ principle only applies to sex addicts or chronic cheats (men that cannot help being that way without professional help).

Ladies, please do not judge me or hate me for this. Trust me; I had you in mind when I came up with it. Only trying to protect you, as “men will be men”.

Remember: (back to the men), how you treat your woman reflects on your mother. Tells the world if she failed or if she succeeded in molding you into the ‘right’ kind of man.

Make her reflection beautiful.

With love,

Adupeola