The Gift Of GoodBye!!!

Often we don't understand why life happens the way it does. We find it hard to move past old battle scars. We keep peeling the scabs of old wounds because we are reluctant to let it heal properly. we want it to take longer and we want it to scar so we never forget. I know they say, "experience is the best teacher", but sometimes, experience teaches us the wrong thing. We don't stop to think that everything does indeed happen for a reason. Horrible experiences are sometimes blessings in disguise. I am not saying that you are not allowed to hurt or grieve and neither am I saying that the things that have happened to you are inconsequential. I'm merely saying, do not let past disappointments hold you back.

I'm sure at some time you have heard the saying, 'the gift of goodbye'. We've been told to give the gift of goodbye to people that take us for granted or do not appreciate our presence. Do you know it works both ways? The people that left you also presented you with the gift of their goodbye. Some people have an expiry date in your life. Not everybody is designed to go through the entirety of life's journey with you. Failed relationships are always better sooner rather than later. Isn't it better that it ends while the impact of the hurt can still be contained? Wouldn't it be much worse if  he/she waited till after the wedding to walk out of your life? What would you do then?

I learned quite recently that I had a responsibility to myself. I'm not sure if you're aware of this responsibility and so I have decided to tell you about it. Your happiness and your overall wellbeing is your responsibility. You cannot always depend on an external force for your daily dose of happiness. Let me just go a step further and say your spouse isn't always going to fulfil your desires. Your children might not always make you happy. Neither can your parents, siblings, friends or co-workers. You see, they also have a responsibility to themselves that they cannot afford to let fall to the way side just to make you happy. The earlier you take up this responsibility, the better for you.

Holding on to past hurts never help. You need to master the art of letting go. in one of his books, Joel Osteen made a illustration of this by comparing the rearview mirror and the windscreen of a car. He said, "where you have been is less important than where you're heading to" (paraphrased by me). I agree with his observation. If we hold on to past hurts, it makes it harder for us to move on. We have to determine to always start out with a clean slate. Look at your disappointments, hurts, regrets, rejections, neglects as stepping stones to a brighter future and a better you. Letting go isn't easy but it is a must. You cannot afford to dwell in the past. He left because someone better was on his way. My people, the Yoruba, will say, 'ohun ka eni ti e, Olorun bo wa te rug fun e"(I hope I got that right). Paraphrased, it means, if one door closes, God will open another and if all doors close, He will open a window.

So, my dear readers, step out of mediocrity today. You deserve better than a abusive relationship. You deserve better than a cheating partner. You deserve a better friend. You deserve to dream bigger dreams. You deserve a better job. We can only go as far as we think we can. Remember, "As a man thinketh in his heart, so he is"! I didn't say that, the Good Book did. I want the best for you all. Strive for the best of everything. You deserve it! You're worth it!

Give the gift of goodbye to those that deserve it and learn to accept the gift of goodbye gracefully!

Have a wonderful week!!!

Adupeola