The Women Of Wisteria Lane!!!

I remember watching the show; Desperate Housewives, for the first time in 2005. I know it started a year earlier, but I wasn't able to watch it until a year later. I watched season 1-8 though. Recently, I got the urge to re-watch it. I've been doing that for the past 2 weeks and I am now in season 5(I seriously have no life!). During my second go at it, I realized something. The main characters; Susan, Bree, Lynette, Gabrielle/Gabriella & Edie have a lot in common with everyday women. It's like the creator wanted women to better understand themselves and their different angles. Here's what I learned from these women.

Susan

From the show, we gather that her character is an adorable klutz. She has also been unlucky in love; multiple times.  She doesn't like being alone. She's dependent on the people around her for her supply of emotions. Her daughter, her exes, her friends. She always needs someone. She's also a drama queen.

When things become boring, she finds a way to turn a perfectly boring situation into a dramatic one. Many would call her the weak link of the group but I disagree.  She's as strong as she knows how to be. It's not easy to be her. Having to always seek validation without and not within. I'm not saying she can't be a stronger woman, she can if she's willing to do the work. Her first divorce nearly destroyed her emotionally. It made her into what she is.

Many women have these same issues. They never completely bounce back from hurt. After, they fall easily and get hurt repeatedly. Some just stop trying. I believe the character of Susan is what many women become after being hurt. They don't know how to just be, they always need a man. They never completely check out of a relationship. They always have leftover feelings. They never find closure. Women like this are most likely emotionally unstable. There is something I admire about Susan though, her ability to pick herself up and try all over again. She never gives up on love. Many may call it her weakness but I choose to view it as a strength.

Edie

Like Susan, she can't be without a man. For an entirely different reason though. She gets her boost of self-esteem from her ability to attract men. She's a very lonely woman. She would have fared better with female companionship but women tend to not like her. I don't blame them, I wouldn't be quick to befriend a woman I might lose my man to as well. I know people say, "if he loves you, he won't stray..." I believe that. I also believe he's human and as such prone to making a mistake now and then. Why tempt fate?

A closer look shows that despite all the men she's been with, she was never completely satisfied. There's a hole inside her that a man can't fill. Only she can. Many women today are like that. They expect their men to complete them. Sadly, these men can't. I've always said that if you feel incomplete and decide to get married to feel complete, after you're married you'll still feel incomplete.

You can't put that much burden on a man. You're going to frustrate him and yourself because he's never going to be enough. Never! There's a need for a woman to find her place on her own. My mum always says a man should be a bonus. I agree. No man wants to be responsible for boosting your self-esteem. He's not infallible. You're responsible for your happiness. The sooner you realize that the better.

Bree

I can't say I've met a lot of women like Bree. It kinda helped that the made it clear that she was Republican. She's very conventional and traditional. I don't think that even if I went out of my way to learn that I'll ever be an accomplished homemaker. Hopefully, that won't be a strict requirement of my future husband's. She reminds me of another type of woman though. The woman who is emotionally closed. She tries her darnest to never appear vulnerable. While many would call me reserved, I doubt I can ever school my emotions and plaster a fake smile on my face for just an hour. It would be the death of me.

But there is that woman that struggles to make it look to the outside world that she's got it all together. This woman never wants to relinquish control to anyone because she's scared that if she does, she'll never regain control. If only she understands that it's okay to not be perfect. It's okay to let people help you through your hurt and every other thing going awfully wrong in your life. It's okay to let people in. We're human. No human is without flaw. Most people assume women like this are snubs or just cold. I think they're terrified. No matter how strong they are, they're still scared of people truly knowing them.

Lynette

She's headstrong, domineering and overbearing. She very rarely admits being wrong. She's used to fixing her problems by herself. She doesn't need or want a hero. She's a very strong woman. The strongest of the group. She faces all her problems squarely. She believes in herself so much she doesn't fear failure. Her ego is a constant source of friction in her relationship though. She tends to emasculate her man by insisting on playing the role of the man in the relationship.

It's takes a  special kind of man to love women like this. Even if you can do it all by yourself, there's nothing wrong in letting your man feel a little needed. Women like this tend to send men running. No man wants to relinquish his balls(no pun intended) to his woman. There's a need for a man to be a man. Disturbing the order of things just makes it that much harder for everyone. The man never reaches his full potential because he doesn't see the reason to try.

I'm not saying you don't get to advise your man. I'm saying you shouldn't tell him what to do. You can influence his decision but you don't get to manipulate him or control him. It is important to set a balance. For your sake and his.

Gabrielle/Gabriella

Funny enough, I've met a lot of women like Gabby. Self-centered, obnoxious, rude, you get the idea. Women like that always take the easy way out. They are shallow and only think about themselves.  They never stop to think about the consequences of their actions and how it might affect others. I've always been of the opinion that her excuse for having an affair was passable at best. The fact that your husband works a lot and never has time for you isn't enough reason to be unfaithful to your marital vows. That was the cowardly way out. A bold step would have been confrontation and communication.

She eventually showed that she could be a better woman though. She showed that she was capable of staying true to her vows. The way she took care of Carlos when he was blind, sticking by him, roughing it out, not many women can do that. It's even rarer for women like Gabrielle to. I believe that if they tried a little bit harder, women like these can truly amaze us. They have the potential to be much more than the materialistic, shallow primates that they are now.

Honestly, she's my favorite character. I like and respect how she broke free from her past and made something of herself. Many victims of child-abuse rarely do. I think in his way, the creator was trying to inspire them. Probably he knew someone like that. Despite her many shortcomings, she is still a beautiful, loyal person. You can be that as well.

In conclusion, I would like to say my greatest lesson from the show is the many joys of friendship. Having loyal girlfriends that you know you can lean on. They had their misunderstandings, they disagreed often, but they always rallied around each other. Watching them made me realize that I should try harder to cultivate friendship with other women. At the end of the day, only a woman truly understands another woman. Besides, you can't bitch to a man,  they never get what to do. A woman though...