What Season Of Your Life Are You In?

This morning I was determined to write something. I sat down for 2 hours with my hands on my keyboard and with nothing to write about. I thought it would come to me the moment I moved to start writing. It didn't. You see, it seems like I've reached a rut in my life and that has inadvertently affected my writing. That and the fact that I have so many projects that I've started and not sure how to finish or even if it will eventually come into fruition. I wish I could tell you that someone tall, dark and handsome came into my life and distracted me. That's so not true. The only distraction I have is Adupeola. I overwhelmed her with too much to do at the same time and it looks like she's beginning to crack under pressure. I wonder how I get anything done. In this past month, I've watched 25 movies, all series by the way. At the same time, I'm trying to conquer the world. Do you know where I have any fun anymore? In my dreams. In my dreams, I'm still fun. The funny thing is, I've had my share of fun...I have been wild. Then I had the talk with myself and I decided to turn a new leaf and I turned into this boring old lady that's so conservative and reserved she could be a Republican.

I feel the need to paint a clear picture for you. My closest friends right now is family. Do you know the only ones that seem incredibly ecstatic to see me anymore? My cousins, one is 3 going on 4 and the other is 1 going on 2. They find me fun to be with. They laugh at my silly jokes. They practically fill my love meter. Yeah, yeah, I know what you're going to say. It's probably unhealthy that I don't have adults like myself to keep me company. It's just that we're all so busy with our lives and social media is how we keep up with each other anymore. I've always preferred personal touches to abstract forms like social media. That's why it felt good to go spend time with my cousins whenever I miss that. That and the fact that for some ridiculous reason, my biological clock seems to be ticking so much louder nowadays. See? I'm killing two birds with one stone. I'm fulfilling my need for face-time and my maternal urges by spending time with those 2 angels(sometimes they can be devils but I love them anyway).

Looks like I finally figured out what to write about. I am not in that season of my life. The season for relationships and babies. The season for fooling around like a young lass just getting the hang of adulthood. I already passed that stage. I try my best to live a fulfilling life irrespective of how that might look like to others. I have always kept my happiness first. I always kept me first. Then, I left that season into a new one. In this new season, I realized how selfish I've been in my past seasons. Don't get me wrong, I'm generous to a fault and the people that truly know me can testify to that fact. I've been selfish in other ways. I have a huge ego. Egotism is a form of selfishness. I know I say often that sometimes it's okay to be selfish and it really is. I just am more than I need to be. My mum said to me often that I used people. I always argued with her and said she was wrong. But, it's true. I do use people and then I discard them when I'm done with them or after I feel like they've fulfilled their purpose in my life. That is one of the reasons I probably don't have that many friends. I'm working on that but I also realized that sober Dupe isn't very friendly. She's more of a porcupine, she stings anyone that comes too close. Anybody with a firm grasp of psychology will conclude that it's probably a defense mechanism. They wouldn't be wrong. If they want to truly be of help, they can tell me what to do to discard of the defense mechanism.

What is the essence of this post? I want you to sit down and determine what season of your life you might be in. It's important that you learn to enjoy whatever season of your life you're in. Don't be like those people that complain that it's too hot in the summer only to complain that it's too cold in the winter. People like that are constantly unhappy. They complain when it doesn't rain and when it does rain, they're annoyed about it's timing. Wouldn't it just be way easier to learn to adapt? I mean, I've always felt that the key to survival was the ability of a specimen to adapt to whatever ecosystem it might find itself in. It's like accidentally falling in quicksand, the harder you struggle to get out, the faster you sink. But, when you take a breath and try to go with the flow and not fight it, it becomes easier to get out. I know complaining about your current season won't make it run out faster. I know every season has to run it's full course before it changes. The best I can do, the best anyone of us can do is be thankful that atleast we're alive to enjoy another season of our lives.

To live a truly fulfilled life dearest readers, you need to find a way to embrace your current season. I know we can find a way to do that if we find a way to be happy about the little things because they actually make a huge difference. It also helps to be people-oriented. I know that isn't so easy because it's my greatest hurdle as well but it does help you become a better person when you sometimes think about how your actions might affect others. This will also make you a joyful person. Maybe not immediately but you gotta promise me that you'll wait for it. The happiest times of my life has been all those times I've had the privilege to put a smile on someone's face. I'm going to try to be less self-centered in the immediate future...what about you? Will you give it a try as well? I hope you do...

Lol...looks like starting is half the battle afterall.

As always with love,

Adupeola